"The Johnson boys discover why cow tipping never quite caught on in Texas."
A psychiatrist visited a California mental institution and asked a patient, “How did you get here? What was the nature of your illness?” He got the following reply.
“Well, it all started when I got married and I guess I should never have done it. I married a widow with a grown daughter who then became my stepdaughter.
My dad came to visit us, fell in love with my lovely stepdaughter, then married her. And so my stepdaughter was now my stepmother. Soon, my wife had a son who was, of course, my daddy’s brother-in-law since he is the half-brother of my stepdaughter, who is now, of course, my daddy’s wife.
So, as I told you, when my stepdaughter married my daddy, she was at once my stepmother! Now, since my new son is brother to my stepmother, he also became my uncle. As you know, my wife is my step-grandmother since she is my stepmother’s mother. Don’t forget that my stepmother is my stepdaughter. Remember, too, that I am my wife’s grandson.
But hold on just a few minutes more. You see, since I’m married to my step-grandmother, I am not only the wife’s grandson and her hubby, but I am also my own grandfather.
Now can you understand how I got put in this place?”
After staring blankly with a dizzy look on his face, the psychiatrist replied: “Move over!”
It's Write to Your Father Day! Observed on the Sunday before Father's Day, today encourages you to reach out with pen and paper to your father. Ask him what he remembers, what he thinks. Even if you can't send it because he has passed on or because of family issues, still center your thoughts as if you were reaching him.
--Abused Women and Children's Awareness Day: observed on the 2nd Sunday of June; I couldn't find who sponsors the movement or its history but this is an issue that needs to be brought front and center again and again till the violence stops.
--Army's Birthday: today commemorates the day in 1775 when the Continental Congress established the first Continental Army and George Washington was its Commander-in-Chief; before this day, it was just a collection of state armies and militias with no clear guidance or infrastructure.
--Canadian Rivers Day: observed in Canada on the 2nd Sunday of June to raise awareness of preserving the heritage and health of Canada's rivers.
--Family History Day: today is a day to remind you to get your family history written down for the generations to come.
--Flag Day: today commemorates this day in 1777 when Congress adopted the American flag; the first official Stars and Stripes had 13 stars and 13 red and white stripes to represent the original 13 colonies that broke from British rule; while today is not an official federal holiday, some states do celebrate today as a state holiday; usually there are parades around the country.
--Flip Flop Day: today is a salute to the type of sandals since ancient Egypt and maybe earlier; flipflops were introduced to the US after WWII by American soldiers bringing the Japanese zoris.
--International Bath Day: today is a salute to bath time fun and discovery of basic physics properties; supposedly Archimedes, while taking a bath, figured out the theorem that an object's volume could be accurately measured by being submerged in water and then sprang from his tub in his excitement.
--National Bourbon Day: today is a salute to the type of whiskey that is only made in the US, starting around 1785; to be classified as bourbon it must be made of a grain mixture of at least 51% corn, be aged in new, charred oak containers, be distilled at no more than 160 proof, be put in barrels at no more than 125 proof and be bottled at 80 proof.
--National Children's Day: also known as Children's Sunday; observed on the 2nd Sunday of June; since we have Mother's Day and Father's Day, some child advocates felt we needed a Children's Day to recommit to loving and nurturing our children and established this holiday as a reminder that all children should be cherished.
--National Strawberry Shortcake Day: there is very little info as to the history of this holiday but it is a salute to a fun way to eat the summer's strawberries.
--Pause for the Pledge Day: today was established to be in conjunction with Flag Day as a day to remember the Pledge of Allegiance.
--Pop Goes the Weasel Day: today celebrates a nursery rhyme that became popular in 1850 in both America and Britain but with different words:
"In England: Half a pound of tuppeny rice
Half a pound of treacle
That's the way the money goes
Pop! goes the weasel"
"In 1940 America: All around the mulberry bush
The monkey chased the weasel
The monkey stopped to pull up his sock, (or The monkey stopped to scratch his nose, or The monkey fell down and oh what a sound, or The monkey thought it was all in fun)
Pop! goes the weasel."
--Race Unity Day: observed on the 2nd Sunday of June; a very timely reminder, today is a day to promote racial harmony and understanding; events are usually the product of local community initiatives.
--World Blood Donor Day: today salutes all blood donors around the world who take the time to donate life-giving blood to help others.