To Serve or Serve Thyself Food?
Friday, June 12, 2020
To serve or serve thyself, that is the question when it comes to dishing up family members plates of food.
Growing up, dishes and plates of food were passed around the dinner table and we took what we wanted. The only rule was to "eat what you take" and we knew that we could always go back for seconds or thirds if we wanted but not to waste what was on our plates.
Move forward 50 years to a new relationship where my new partner grew up in a household where the food was plated in the kitchen and then individually served at the table. He wasn't expected to eat everything on his plate, but he always did. This seemed odd to me that someone else would decide how much of each item I wanted.
This represents a clash of beliefs (I am not sure what else to call it) in our household when it comes to mealtime and portioning out food. He ALWAYS puts too much food on my plate and I feel guilty when I don't eat all of it. Can you say OVEREAT or GAIN WEIGHT? You bet that is what happened. Now, let's be truthful here, he didn't force me to put the fork in my mouth and tell me I had to eat it, but remember those early lessons in childhood? Eat what you take translates into "eat everything on your plate". My brain had a hard time distinguishing between the two.
Thankfully, after 10 years I have finally forced myself into the kitchen and tell him to stop and I will dish up my own food, thereby controlling my portion size.
He honestly thinks that I should eat the same amount of food as he does. What I have learned is that he feels loved when someone cooks for him because this brings back fond memories from he was a young boy. Amazing how much of an impact mealtime can have in our lives.