IAMSHE-RA
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Feeling like a Fraud

Wednesday, May 06, 2020

I'm flattered to be named as today's featured Motivator. However, I also feel like a bit of a fraud. I've been struggling for the last 5 or 6 years. I've been injured, then I got sick, then I got old! Whenever I take 2 steps forward I inevitably have to take 3 steps back. I feel like I've aged a decade during the last 3 years. It's been discouraging and disheartening. I've also been dealing with depression, not to a serious degree, but my self esteem has taken a big hit. So I'm taking it day by day and I'm trying to get back my discipline.

My exercise routine has changed dramatically over the last few years. Since I've been injured, my back won't allow me to life weights like I used to. My knees won't let me run or jump like I used to and on top of everything I've got arthritis in my hips as well as my back. But I do what I can. I do my cardio on the elliptical machine or I walk. I do bodyweight strength routines and keep the added weight to a minimum. The result is that results take longer. Very frustrating for someone who used to be a beast in the gym! But, I'm working on accepting the new normal and I try to move past it.

The biggest backslide has been with my nutrition. I developed an intestinal infection which was treated with triple antibiotics. My digestive system was wrecked! All the healthy foods I was eating made me sick. Go figure right? I'm eating chicken and egg whites, limiting unhealthy carbs and all of a sudden these were making me sick. Not just sick, but the inflammation made my ribs tender to the touch. I couldn't lay on my side! The doctors tested me for everything and found nothing wrong. So I did an elimination diet and turned out I was sensitive to all the foods that were making me fit and healthy before the infection. This really depressed me, so I ate whatever tasted good and didn't make me sick. Now I need to reverse the bad eating habits and find a new way of eating for the new normal.

The one constant during all this change has been my ever present need not to give up! If I can instill in you all one thing, it is to NEVER GIVE UP! Strive to accept changes in your life and your body as the years go on. Not an easy task for some of us. I'm not sure what the future holds but I can promise you all that I will never give up trying to be the best version of me. You can knock me down, but I'm gonna get back up. Accept yourself for the person you are and work to be the best version of you that you can be at this stage in your life. Let that be the motivation, my gift, to you.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • NGCHILD
    Hi Libbie! Sorry to hear about all your struggles. Sounds like you are determined and I love that! We can and will do this!! Stay strong lady!

    Nic

    emoticon emoticon
    215 days ago
  • ISHIIGIRL
    HI Libbie, It was really good to hear from you on my blog today! I read what you wrote here and believe me, I have been feeling the same way. I decided to try to do The Plant Paradox six months ago. I have arthritis and was having a few other issues with my gut. Low and behold, it worked and I was able to drop 10 lbs. It is basically keto but with a lot of foods not allowed. I must say I feel good and with the pandemic, I am able to use my commute time to walk instead! This has really been a blessing for me. Don't feel like a fraud, you did some amazing things and deserve the recognition. Allowing ourselves to be who we are here and now and acknowledging these things is all a part of the journey. Do what you can now and don't look back. Yesterday is behind you and tomorrow is in front of you. You are right where you need to be!
    245 days ago
  • NANCYPAT1
    Congratulations! I know the feeling of being a fraud but don't undervalued yourself! Most of us struggle with those feelings!
    265 days ago
  • CSROBERTSON621
    I've struggled with similar feelings - different reasons for struggling, but basically not feeling like anyone should be looking to ME for motivation! Kudos to you for realizing that you ARE a terrific example of being the best you can be at any given moment, and of refusing to give up. Because that's really the best any of us can ever do!

    Way to go! emoticon
    265 days ago
  • TURQUROISE
    Congratulation emoticon
    265 days ago
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    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.
 

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