Feeling like a Fraud
Wednesday, May 06, 2020
I'm flattered to be named as today's featured Motivator. However, I also feel like a bit of a fraud. I've been struggling for the last 5 or 6 years. I've been injured, then I got sick, then I got old! Whenever I take 2 steps forward I inevitably have to take 3 steps back. I feel like I've aged a decade during the last 3 years. It's been discouraging and disheartening. I've also been dealing with depression, not to a serious degree, but my self esteem has taken a big hit. So I'm taking it day by day and I'm trying to get back my discipline.
My exercise routine has changed dramatically over the last few years. Since I've been injured, my back won't allow me to life weights like I used to. My knees won't let me run or jump like I used to and on top of everything I've got arthritis in my hips as well as my back. But I do what I can. I do my cardio on the elliptical machine or I walk. I do bodyweight strength routines and keep the added weight to a minimum. The result is that results take longer. Very frustrating for someone who used to be a beast in the gym! But, I'm working on accepting the new normal and I try to move past it.
The biggest backslide has been with my nutrition. I developed an intestinal infection which was treated with triple antibiotics. My digestive system was wrecked! All the healthy foods I was eating made me sick. Go figure right? I'm eating chicken and egg whites, limiting unhealthy carbs and all of a sudden these were making me sick. Not just sick, but the inflammation made my ribs tender to the touch. I couldn't lay on my side! The doctors tested me for everything and found nothing wrong. So I did an elimination diet and turned out I was sensitive to all the foods that were making me fit and healthy before the infection. This really depressed me, so I ate whatever tasted good and didn't make me sick. Now I need to reverse the bad eating habits and find a new way of eating for the new normal.
The one constant during all this change has been my ever present need not to give up! If I can instill in you all one thing, it is to NEVER GIVE UP! Strive to accept changes in your life and your body as the years go on. Not an easy task for some of us. I'm not sure what the future holds but I can promise you all that I will never give up trying to be the best version of me. You can knock me down, but I'm gonna get back up. Accept yourself for the person you are and work to be the best version of you that you can be at this stage in your life. Let that be the motivation, my gift, to you.