Two Sundays ago I spent a good deal of time sitting on my back porch waiting for my church service to begin online and scanning others church services.
I caught a jewish guy in New York playing a guitar and singing, preaching and praying. Couldn't understand the prayer at all, but I did enjoy his sermon and singing. And his sense of humor and demeanor.
I listened to a few others, then I happened on to a lady, Karen Wheaton. (I still have not researched her, but plan to today) I listened to a couple of her videos and really like her. She is from Alabama, so she talks my language.
Anyway, I started following her on my FB page.
Flipping channels here...stay with me...Joyce Meyers...
You know I am struggling with worrying about Blake, I just have to admit that. I picked up a little Joyce Meyers book the other day and found that bible verse I shared on my Spark blog 'Sunday Comfort'. I do not remember what section I turned to that I found that, I can't find it now, but it gave me some comfort.
I Googled 2 Corinthians 4:16-17 and read the verse in several different translations. I felt compelled to share it here.
I don't feel like I do well with the blogging, but I have a desire to do it.
Pretty much at this point, I only blog when I feel compelled. And for me, I feel that compelling comes from God, for the most part.
Something I pray for daily, is to think and speak with Discernment and Clarity. I started praying that some months ago when I was feeling like everything I said to my boss was misunderstood.
I start my morning prayers straight out of bed for the people on my whiteboard first.
I hung a whiteboard with my Prayer list in my bedroom so I can see it from my bed and I start talking to God as soon as I wake up.
Then I read my devotionals and go to scripture to have more context of what I am reading.
Then I pray again about what I have read, about my day, thanking God. I spend probably a good 20-30 minutes each morning, sometimes closer to an hour.
I talk and pray to God throughout the rest of my day as well. Even have a few friends I have meaningful conversations with about God daily.
Then I get on the computer and go to Spark and do my check ins for the day, catching up on others blogs, messages, etc. So the fact that I am following up my devotional/meditation time I think is why I feel compelled to share these things on Spark. I love that there is such a Christian community here.
Back to Karen Wheaton...
Earlier this week, I saw that Karen Wheaton had posted a new video and so I listened to it.
She said it was unusual for her to be sharing a video in the middle of the week like this, but that God had laid it on her heart to speak to someone specific and she didn't know who it was but she was meant to share a word with them and it was a word she had shared back in October 2019 and then she showed a video she had previously loaded on her FB page.
The message was about praising God, looking up to the heavens and always seeking him. Watching it, I felt like it was meant for me, but I didn't get a particular thing out of the message, per se. She talked about being in particular prayer that day about her ministry and how coincidentally things had transpired over the next few days that she recognized God was working on things for her and talking to her through others. I enjoyed it, but went on about my day thinking everyone thinks it's for them, that's the purpose of proposing a message like that.
Now to Julie, my boss...
I text Julie Tuesday, midday and told her my 2 weeks dr ordered self-isolation was up the next day, being Wednesday and did they have the RV ready for me or was I to go back to the office, what was the plan?
She text me back and said there was no office where I had been any more. They did not have the RV done and that they had moved equipment and such out to the detached garage at her place and it seemed to work out nicely.
That she has been kicking around what to do with me to limit my contact with others physically and she was considering me working 3:30-8:30 through the week and 10-6 Saturday and Sunday. She said she still wasn't sure of those hours yet. Was just considering this to get me my 40 hrs in.
I thanked her for considering my situation with Blake and asked when she wanted me to report. She said she would get back to me and I haven't heard from her since. I have speculated several things about this.
My first thoughts were this will mess up my church going on Sundays.
And God said, "there is no church going on Sunday right now".
It's live or recorded online and KCWeb has never had customer service open on Sundays, so would probably get very few calls if any and I could watch church whenever. And if it were to come to a time when church would be back in normal session, I go to the early service anyway at 8 and it is over at 9, I could still stay for breakfast and fellowship.
Something else God said to me, "You don't know if Julie's plans are for this is to be permanent hours change or just during this period of virus and until you have a conversation with her you shouldn't have any strong feelings about it".
I did figure my pay up and I could feasibly tell her I don't want to work Sundays and she could just pay me for 32 hours a week. It would be the same money I was making when I started there and bought my house, so it would work. It would make things tight, but it could be done.
I even had the thought that with those hours I may be able to go back to working with my client Jan landscaping in the daytime and that would compensate my pay with cash.
God also said, "You have prayed for less stress".
I have felt like I have been given more responsibility than one person should have in this job and this would alleviate that leaps and bounds.
KCWeb just doesn't get a lot of calls in the evenings after work hours or on weekends. Even Saturdays our customer service hours are from 9-noon. So I would not be busy at all, just be a body there to watch monitors and answer what calls would come in. Our customer service hours have always been 8-8 M-F and 9-noon on Saturdays. So the bulk of our clients know these to be our hours. We have always had a recorder and clients have always been told to call outside of hours, but typically our phones are not answered outside of hours unless they are home and in the mood to answer the phone. Of which they do from time to time. No more tech/sales related issues. No more expectations to get surveys done, uninstalls done, etc. Because that is all done in the daytime. She could pass paperwork, data entry stuff on that she doesn't want to deal with in the daytime and that could be easily handled.
So it occurred to me that this is actually answered prayer even though it's not a new job...yet.
It is much less stress and contact with any of them. Would mostly just be her and Todd by phone.
Yes, I will be sacrificing every evening and my entire weekends, for the most part, but I have no life anyway, I can get all the gardening and yard work I want to do done in the daylight hours. And still spend lots of time with my son, until his job starts, hopefully in May, who knows. But I'm trying to stay positive about that and keep him positive about it to. Road construction jobs haven't closed down for the most part that I am aware of around here anyways.
The funny thing is, I still haven't heard from her, so I'm starting to wonder if she just spouted these hours off thinking I would tell her I wouldn't do it and quit, so now she doesn't know what to do.
Back to Karen Wheaton...
She posted a live video last night, basically saying the same thing she had before. Talking about not worrying, rely on our faith.
She had a particular money need for her ministry and then talked about how she was questioning God about how money and finances work in heaven.
Later that night in the night she woke up and God spoke to her four words. "Utter dependence upon God"
That is how things work in Heaven. Everything and everyone is utterly dependent on God.
That is the answer to all the questions...Utter dependence upon God.
She told the story of Paul in 2 Corinthians 1:8-12.
How Paul had fought a great battle, enduring more than he thought they could endure and felt surely they were going to die. And then they turned their battle over to God, He who can raise the dead.
2 Corinthians 1:12 NIV Now this is our boast: Our conscience testifies that we have conducted ourselves in the world, and especially in our relations with you, with integrity[b] and godly sincerity. We have done so, relying not on worldly wisdom but on God’s grace.
(Footnotes: [b] 2 Corinthians 1:12 Many manuscripts read holiness)
She started talking about in this day of confusion and anxiety with the virus scare, we should be "utterly dependent on God". Likening that dependence to birds. How birds are utterly dependent on God. They do not store food, most birds build a new nest each season, they don't know where their next worm is coming from, they are utterly dependent on God. They do not worry or fret, they just go about their lives singing and happy go lucky.
Matthew 7:25-27, 31 and 33-34
She is so right about us being meant to be "Utterly dependent on God". I got that, get that.
I told God last night I was going to stop worrying about Blake and be utterly dependent on Him to take care of Blake.
I didn't want to wake up any more in the night worrying about him, thinking about this stuff, I was turning it over to Him. I'm letting it go. There's nothing I can do anyway, I can't control Blake. He is carrying hand sanitizer and bathes when he comes in after being with friends and changes his clothes. He's trying as best he can with his teenage brain of reason and wanting to please mom, but have a life. I have had the thought that if it were me and I thought I could likely die from this, why wouldn't I want to spend time with friends and take my chances. Who wouldn't? That's why I have to let God work this one out.
And now back to Joyce Meyers...
This morning, there was a Joyce Meyers video posted 16 minutes before I checked my FB page. I decided to watch it, first one I have watched since following her. She was talking about going to Wilderness University, essentially that all of God's great followers have spent time alone, distant of friends and family, isolated for the most part initially in their faith, learning and studying and relying on God to see them through. To provide enough, to give them what they need and answering prayer. She talked about the trials they had to endure to get where God needed them to be to give them their power and blessed life.
She wrapped everything up in a tiny package to me in all of this over the last week I have been praying for peace of my mind and heart.
Wanting to be faithful and feeling like I shouldn't have even a moment of concern if I trust and have faith in Him.
She talked specifically about God leaving one in a job they dislike, maybe working with people who are not Christian and you don't want to be around and he needs you there to minister to these people.
Besides praying about my worry for Blake, you know I have started praying for a new job. The first time I seriously prayed for a new job, it had occurred to me I hadn't been asking God for a new job.
I cried out to God that day, "why do you not help me with this? You know it is not a healthy place for me. I am so stressed all the time and taken advantage of and working with absolutely insane people."
God said, "I had not asked him for a new job".
And secondly, I had the thought that maybe I was meant to ask Julie to come to church with me.
(I did btw, she was very curt and to the point in her answer, NO as she was walked out of the room and into another, never pausing to talk about it. I followed up with I had started going to the church where her and Todd had gotten married and she quickly corrected me that her and Todd had not gotten married in that church. That they had only asked that pastor to preach the ceremony at their wedding at her mom and dad's house. Her demeanor and tone said, "End of conversation")
So here was Joyce talking specifically to me about being left where I'm at in my job, to walk in faith and show others by example. And then she spoke a quote that sounded familiar to me and I looked it up.
It was 2 Corinthians 4:17.
It was the same scripture that I had written about on Sunday in my Sunday Comfort blog.
Do you see how the Lord is speaking to me? He had Karen telling me how it works and He had Joyce and the word telling me directly.
I cannot control Blake, I have worried about him and his salvation. When he was baptized was during that time he was living with his dad in the 8th grade. I was not there, did not even know about it until after the fact.
But I was not bitter about it because it was between Blake and God, not me, Blake and God.
I can only imagine how beautiful it was. Jeff's little church is only a half mile walk from a covered bridge and creek and that's where they do their baptizing, in the creek at the covered bridge. They were scheduled to do baptizing that day after church and Blake went forward to be baptized. I'm not sure he's been back to church since. One reason I question. And remember he told me his Senior year in high school he wasn't sure he believed, he felt he leaned more towards scientific creation.
But then when my little dog, Bit died and he revealed his sight of seeing her run up those stairs to heaven with her feet healed.
Oh yes, I felt like that was God letting me know my son was a believer.
Yesterday, I had come in for a break from yard work and had sat down for a moment, Blake came upstairs to get a drink and sat down next to me. I was checking out the tv menu looking for something he might be interested in watching with me as I scrolled he pointed out a Monty Python movie I have not heard of. I was not interested, I do not care for Monty Python.
He started telling me about it, and talking about Jesus being born and this character was Jesus's brother born in the manger next to Jesus and how when Jesus arose from the grave.
"You know, mom", and he was making sure I understood what he was talking about, like I might not. Relating the story of Jesus to me.
Then he went on to tell about the movie and this character brother of Jesus being mistaken for Jesus and how funny it was.
All I heard was him telling me the story of Jesus.
My son, the one I worry about, telling me the story of Jesus.
Oh yes, he is a believer. He may not go to church now and he may not spread the word and he may have doubts, like I know I have had especially in my late teens, early 20's, just questioning my faith, just what faith is in general.
Because it's not like it's a static thing. It can't be touched or held, only imagined and believed in.
But there is no doubt in me, that over this past week God has revealed to me that I do not need to worry about my son in any way.
I just need to pray and be grateful for my blessings, grateful for God and rely on Him.
Utterly dependent on Him for all of my needs to be met.
Something else Karen Wheaton said in one of these videos, was that she believes that if we are truly Christians, God talks to us. All of us. That we just need to listen.
Friends, I am writing this blog to tell you to "listen" for God to speak to you.
There are no coincidences in life.
Count your blessings.
Listen for the Lord to speak your message to you, the one He has for you and you alone.
It may come to you spoken as a message for lots of people or it may come to you in a dream.
But have no doubt, God is speaking to you as His child and He as your Father.
He's got this!
One other thing I want to share, my family in Texas is passing this message around on their FB. They sent it to me and I really like the idea. I hung my ribbon last night and will attach a photo here. I could not attach it to my door, so I put it at the entrance to my porch to get to my front door for all to see.
Hey guys , been thinking about this virus junk and the upcoming Easter season. What if we as Christians were to take red ribbons and Pin or tape to our door posts , as a symbol of the blood that was placed over the doors of the children of Israels homes at Passover , when God freed them from Egyptian bondage, just to show this world and satan that our God is still able to deliver His people from any and everything that tries to put us in bondage. We are His children, we are His favorites, we are His property, and He loves us as no one else can. Let us show the world that we believe His word, and we are His.
This is to let the world know that we believe the word of God. Let’s get the word out! God is still in control, He is our ONLY hope. Cover those door post and stand on His promise of protection for His people.
I stand on His promise