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Wednesday, April 01, 2020

...these three rings are representative of how much I’ve grown personally, emotionally, spiritually and yet, how much I’ve shrunk, literally.

The first ring was the very first purchase to myself January 2012 following the break up of my 15-yr relationship just 3 months prior. I acquired it at this silver store in downtown Santa Cruz ( that’s still here, BTW). That ring was symbolic of new beginnings and the start of a new life—a new adventure—that I was about to embark on with myself. We’ve been through a lot, that ring and me. Jobs changes, relationships (good, bad, “its complicated “ and disastrous—LOL), health challenges both mine and my dad’s and starting over AGAIN only this time in a new town in another part of the state that was both strange and familiar.

The 2nd ring was somewhat of an impulse buy that I got in SF whilst on a girls’ trip celebrating the wedding of my bestie/unbiological sister, and forEVah-dance partner, Kelly Hernandez. It was something different and when I got it home, wasn’t even sure I liked it anymore so I stuck it in a cute, decorative box that I uncovered a week ago. If I am being honest, I stopped wearing it because I was heavier then and subconscious about how it looked on my finger, when all I really should have been concerned about was how much *I* really dug it. So now it’s a reminder to not wait to enjoy things in life and to live happily ever now.

The third and final ring is my most recent purchase because frankly, the first two are now too big. It represents all of my hard work over the past 2 years of reclaiming my health—through immense amounts of job-related bull$h*t, losing my dad, family drama, and more recent job stress. But through it all I never lost myself. There’s something to be said for that.

So now it’s time to say good bye officially to Ring #1. I’m a little sad because it’s been a security blanket of sorts, a touchstone, if you will— a constant reminder that I am capable of change and doing hard things. So as one chapter closes, another opens. I may have turned 50 last year but in some ways this adventure feels like it’s beginning again. And I’m here for it. 🖤
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