500-999 SparkPoints 871

I am not okay!

Sunday, March 22, 2020

Confession time:

I am a comfort food seeking stress eater who is bypassing all the healthy food in my fridge and finding junk. Up until this COVID crisis, I wasn't even putting junk in my house. But the other day when I was looking for ways to sustain us for 14 days, I realized that a pack of weiners was going to go waaaaaaaaaaaay further than my container of fresh strawberries. The only way to make strawberries more filling is to put them over angel food cake....or cheesecake. 

I have finally scrounged up enough chicken and stuff to feel like we can make it for a while, but deep down I am still panicked and I don't know why. I feel like the 19 on the end of Covid-19 is the amount of weight I am going to gain in 2 weeks! 

Then there's the "support your local small restaurants" thing. This means we are also eating pizza, chinese and mexican. I mean, I need to do my part so that the little mom and pop places survive, right? The other night I got a big pizza for Dave and the boys and I bought myself one of those $15 cauliflower pizzas. Tristan (age 15) didn't miss a beat. He said "we are low on money and you are buying YOURSELF a $15 pizza?? Nice." I hate to admit it, but he made me think twice about taking care of myself. Their pizza was $15 too but it was a 19 inch, not a 6 inch. I just hate picking off the toppings on a regular pizza and leaving the crust. The cauliflower crust is crunchy and satisfying.
And I am SICK TO DEATH of all our dishes being dirty. I decided today to save 4 plates, 4 cups, 4 bowls and put everything else away. Each person is responsible for their stuff. Clean it yourself and refill it with the humongous meals I feel like I need to be cooking. 

Kroger had a $10 off of $20 coupon for Easter candy. I also had $5 in Reese coupons. Yes, I bought the candy. Yes, I ate some. My blood sugars are crazy because I went from NO sugar (or very low) to let-go-of-my-Reesterbunny-and-
no-one-gets-hurt. I ate TWO pieces of lemon pie in one sitting!

Its all I can do to drink water. I was drinking a gallon a day. I haven't had any ways near that in the last 3 days. 

I feel better when I eat right. I feel better when I dance around and take walks. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME??? I have been healthier since January and I don't want to blow it.

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    (Cont) not trying to sound harsh or mean, text is hard. From your writing you know what to do but aren’t making the right choices. It IS harder right now but go exercise more and make some healthy meals that you can freeze. That’s my advice 😁
    139 days ago
    It sounds like you’re making decisions out of stress. I would step back and reevaluate what you really want and are your decisions helping you make your goal. It’s hard for sure right now but no need to support restaurants right now or ruin goals.
    139 days ago
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