Being discouraged in life is natural; giving up is not an option.
Sunday, March 01, 2020
Exhort each other in words that flow from the heart of such matters.
Do not let another stumble into the depths of a pit alone, isolated, lonely, and struggling.
Be clear. Be concise. Be brief. Oops I said that before…but it apparently is worth repeating.
People are self protective, especially about their reputation. It’s an ego thing.
To tell the truth, most people do not spend a whole lot of time thinking about particular other people. They are too consumed with their own lives so that within the hour of leaving another, life has moved on.
And yet, worrying about what others will think is a big reason we are not honest about our frailties.
My son once told someone that “My mommy acts like she is happy on the phone but then goes back to being sad when she hangs up. ”
We put on a good face for the public. This alone accounts for why some people stay isolated at home, a lot, when depressed… because they are unable to put on, or keep, a happy face up for others.
This facade makes getting and receiving help very difficult at best.
Sometimes we don’t even know what to say when a loved one is struggling, let alone a stranger. It is easier to quip “You’ll be fine”. “Cheer up its not that bad”. “There’s always tomorrow”. Such statements are a little too brief.
Really listen. What happened? What is at stake? How does this affect the other person’s perception of life? Engage. Relate. Have compassion and understanding.
People are wanting to be heard and validated. Most people want to see a light at the end of the tunnel…but they are not so desperate that they will fall for easy smoke and mirrors.
Life comes with ups and downs. It’s the ebb and flow of life. There is a saying that we can not appreciate the sun without the rain (as contrast).
Everyone has disappointing times that weigh heavily upon them, taking them low in mood. We can get stuck there or we can act on inner courage and ask for a lifeline.
Drinking. Acting out with or without food. Risking a narcotics arrest. Putting the last $40 on a horse that is a sure WIN. Retreating to your room or cleaning up the mess after another beating. Going back to sleep after 16 hours already in bed.
THESE DO NOT NEED TO HAPPEN!!!
Good quality life does not happen by throwing it away!
Giving into bad choices is just as bad as quitting. It keeps us stuck in the same place we were before we acted out, but now we have the guilt of letting ourselves down.
I can encourage people to reach out to those depressed and in a struggle but I must also persuade each of you (us) to be open, vulnerable and seek support when we need it ourselves. We do not need to face life alone.
The best time to build a support system is when we are in a good emotional space if possible. But it is just as doable if we are already low.
We can start today. Are there any caring relatives that listen and encourage you? (Avoid critical know-it-alls) Do you attend church and know someone with a kind spirit? Do you have a Pastor you could talk to? What about a therapist? There is nothing wrong with paying someone to cheer you on towards GOOD decisions and see you through until life looks up for you.
No. Nope. None of the above?
Well today’s your lucky day! Since you are reading this online, you have access to the internet. There are millions of support groups and discussion threads all over the web. This allows you to stay anonymous, save face/ego, and be completely honest since it will never come back in your real daily life and expose your vulnerability.
I hope today life is going fine for you. I actually desire that it’s a really good day for you. BUT if not, I pray you will reach out. I pray you will gain support, encouragement to move forward. I pray that your soul will be consoled.
If your life is great, sad, or anywhere inbetween…today is an awesome day to encourage another person.
We don’t have to go through life alone. What we give, we get back a hundred times into our own life. Just as life has an ebb and flow of ups and downs, we can ebb and flow from the discouraged to an encourager.
We are in this together.
Feeling discouraged is natural but giving up is not a (good) option.
All the best, Kate