Wednesday, February 05, 2020
Ok...I may have posted this before, but frankly I don't have time to hunt through my weirdo blog titles to see if I did. If I did, it was some time ago, so I'm sharing it.
I found a poem someone had written, kind of a fight song style poem. And it's good. I'll share it with the caveat that I don't know who wrote it:
THE OLD ME
I will beat her
I will train harder.
I will eat cleaner.
I know her weaknesses.
I've lost to her before.
But not this time.
She is going down.
I have the advantage.
Because I know her well.
SHE is the old ME.
(edit - found online, this was written by Bonnie Pfiester)
Now, when I read that, I printed it out and kept it in a motivational folder. But about a year ago, I changed my tack a bit. I'm not at that place in my journey anymore. I'm older, beaten down a bit by my son's Autism-related puberty struggles, sleep issues, and developing a none-too-small issue with anxiety about his future. I always had some, but him turning 18 has been very emotional and anxiety-ridden.
So, I rewrote the poem to reflect my current needs (not sure when I even did it) but here it is:
THE OLD ME, Loved
I will support her
I will help her gain strength
I will make her delicious, nutritious food
I know she suffers from depression
insecurity, and anxiety
I will reminder her she has strength and value
She can change, she can believe in herself again
I am a good friend to her
I treat my friends dearly
She is me, and deserves the most care and love I can give
rev Feb 2020
That is where I am these days. Nurture more than fight. I still have fight, but it goes to other things, I'm not fighting myself now. This is more of a mind-health thing than body health, but I'm hoping a healthier mind will lead to a healthier body.