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Bad News, Good News & Tightrope Walking

Tuesday, January 28, 2020

I’m trying to blog once a week, so here goes. I have good news and bad news. emoticon

The bad news (I’m one of those people who always wants the bad news first - are you like that?) is that I’m struggling some days with nutrition and eating within my calorie range. Some days, I ate under the top amount of my calorie range - sometimes by two or three hundred calories. But there were Other days I ate over the maximum amount in my range - sometimes by as little as 1 calorie or 40 calories or (cringe) 200 calories!!!

Somewhere in the middle of bad and good news is that I completed the 21 Day Tame Your Sweet Tooth Challenge and did REDUCE the extra sugars in my diet, but did NOT completely eliminate them. I guess I need to do the Challenge again, as there is still some hard work to do on that!

The good news is that I believe I have finally fully realized the value of SparkGuy’s “streaks.” I’ve done at least 10 minutes or more of exercise every day since December 30th and it seems like daily exercise has become a habit for me now. Even on days when the Very Last thing I want to do is exercise, I still do it - and that is something new for me. In the past, I let my feelings dictate what I did or did not do and since I struggle with chronic depression, I often didn’t exercise at all. Today, I actually stuffed tissues in my jacket pocket so that I could cry while walking - that’s how low I felt - but after getting out of the house, into the fresh air and sunshine and walking a few minutes, my worries seemed smaller and I didn’t need the tissues after all. One great side effect of getting exercise - even a bit - every day now is that it really does help my mind as much as my body.

I do have times when I see that others on SparkPeople have been at the gym for an hour or two or someone on a team has gotten almost 600 exercise minutes in a week, while I’ve struggled to get 200 and I start feeling like my accomplishments are nothing and don’t really count for anything.
But then I remind myself that a little over a year ago, I couldn’t walk to the end of my driveway and when I first started walking past the end of my driveway, I could only walk a few minutes. At the most, I’m still only walking 20 minutes now, but I got to that 20 minutes by going a tiny bit further each day, one step at a time and it really has been an accomplishment for me. I still have further I want to go and I intend to work on that this week. I want to work up to 30 minutes a day and then, maybe someday, I'll be able to walk (and keep up with), my husband!

The very best news is that this week I went out for lunch with my husband and, for the first time since my surgeries, I stepped up on a curb without even thinking about it, without hesitation, and without worrying about which foot to put first and the best way to push myself up without fear of falling. That tells me I’m getting stronger. I walked as I used to and that felt SO GOOD. I also realized this week that I can do squats without stabilizing myself with my hands (in PT they taught me to use my hands just a little for support). Now I can do squats (not the really deep ones I’m sure you young people do!!) without any support or assistance. That feels good, too!!

My last good news is that I lost a pound this week. Part of me knows that if I had been perfect in my eating and not gone over my calories some days that I could probably have lost two pounds, but since last week I only lost 8 ounces, I’ll take it. I’ve lost 8 pounds since the latter part of December - from 212 down to 204 - but as you can see, I still have a long way to go. I won’t pretend it’s easy. I stood in my kitchen the other night with a war waging inside me from the struggle of wanting to smother my feelings with a sugar binge. I finally decided to eat some carrots first and then see how I felt. I know carrots have sugar, but they’re a lot better than candy! The carrots were enough and I didn’t eat candy.
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Honestly, right now, I kind of feel like I’m on a tightrope every day, taking small steps in the right direction, but not really trusting myself... teetering and tottering and afraid all the time I’m going to fall into the net below....

Some day, I’d love to get to the point where it’s so easy and I trust myself so much that I don’t even need a net anymore and can dance across the tightrope with confidence!!

I say this at the end of every blog - and I believe it’s Absolutely True - We CAN reach our goals!! We can get stronger from our efforts and we can make healthy choices!!! Wishing you all the very best in reaching your goals this week!!!

Miller emoticon
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I'm sorry that you suffer from depression (had no idea). :( But just know that you are an inspiration!
    108 days ago
  • NETSUE64
    What a great blog! You have made so much progress. After all this time I have to convince myself to exercise by saying "just 10 minutes" or "get it over with early so you don't have to think about it". No one is better than you are. You started at a different place and have made great progress.

    Good for you!
    123 days ago
    Thank you for sharing your thoughts
    133 days ago
    It sounds like you are doing a GREAT job! Trying different things, learning as you go, sticking with it, and making steady progress. Sometimes I also seesaw between under or over calorie range--that's natural. The goal is not to be perfect. Just keep building positive habits. And you are!
    140 days ago
    A very inspiring and emoticon blog !! You are doing a fantastic job of extending and working your program. Small steps do equal big results on down the road and you are proof of that. Your walking efforts are so great and your 10 minute stints of exercise are right on target !! Congratulations on losing that pound. It is a grand accomplishment. Keep up the stellar work, Miller. You've got this !! Take care and God bless, Deb :)
    160 days ago
    really emoticon progress & results from emoticon emoticon emoticon

    162 days ago
  • BEDA65
    Thanks for commenting on my blog.
    I really like what you've said here about your journey. It sounds like you are doing just what you need to be doing.
    I would caution you to not compare your journey with others in regards to the exercise. We all have to work at our own pace. It has taken me 3 months to figure out a time that works for me to get a workout into my day. I have finally figured it out, but still have not been consistent. I haven't gotten discouraged about it because I have consistently lost 1/2 lb or better each week or so.
    I have set myself a goal, starting this week to do my workout everyday. I'm gearing up to start walking my dog of a morning before work once it warms up.
    165 days ago
    Hi! First, thank you for stopping by my blogs and I appreciate your comments. Secondly, I enjoyed reading yours. ;o)
    166 days ago
    It sounds to me like you are doing an INCREDIBLE job! That is excellent that you have been utilizing the streaks, and reminding yourself of how far you've come. Success isn't a straight line for anybody - we all have days when we eat over our range (sometimes by a loooot!), or can only do the barest amount of exercise. Consistency is key, and being persistent. Not everyone has the same schedule or responsibilities, either. Even if I had the energy, I'd never be able to get 600 fitness minutes in a week!! (Are these people retired or do they only work part time? Are they fitness instructors? How in the world do they have that much time to exercise??) But I do what I can, and that's all I can ask of myself. Don't worry about falling into the net. That's what it's there for. ;) Just don't STAY in the net, get back on the rope, and dance some more! You've got this!
    167 days ago
    I really admire you for going out to exercise even when you don't feel like it. I haven't been able to go against my feelings for quite some time, and it's showing in my lack of muscle tone. You are right that just 10 minutes a day can make a difference. It's great that you've been on such a long streak and are building up your endurance.
    168 days ago
  • OLAFIT2020
    Wow! You sound like me. Only, I have reached my initial weightloss goal. I am now struggling to keep the weight off. I realize it will always be a struggle.

    Try this. Every night as you lay down to go to sleep, picture yourself at the end of your journey. See yourself reaching your goal. That is one of the things I did to keep myself motivated . I also allowed myselfnto eat what i wanted on Sundays. I got right back on track on Monday, knowing that any weakness that came during the week could be satisfied on Sunday. Many Sundays I just stayed on track, because I kunew I didn't have to. Another thing I did was I only concentrated on 2 pounds at a time. It did not matter how long it took me to lose the two pounds. That was the goal on my tracker. Once I lost 2, I worked on then next two. After praying, these are e a few things the Lord gave me to help me be motivated. Perhaps they will help you.
    174 days ago
  • OLAFIT2020
    Wow. You sound like me. Only I have reached my initial weightloss goal and am struggling to keep the weight down. You can don
    174 days ago
    I missed this when you first posted--Sorry about that. As said in today's blog---never compare to another---when we do, we fall short and miss our own accomplishments. You are valued---you are worthy---You are no less than the one who spends an hour at the gym---(they may have been at it longer) and at the end of our lives, we will not be judged on "how much weight did we lose---or how did we measure up to others? I am confident those things will never be mentioned. The 'real us' lives within---the one with heart and soul, Blessings to you my friend---Keep on--you are doing just great!!
    186 days ago
    Thank you for inspering me you have come a long way in your walking soon you will be out walking with Randy.
    188 days ago
    emoticon blog emoticon
    emoticon for the inspiration and motivation emoticon emoticon
    190 days ago
    One day@a time!Positive thinking,determination and consistency is
    the key! emoticon You are doing emoticon emoticon
    emoticon emoticon Enjoy your day! emoticon
    192 days ago
    Thank you SO MUCH for the motivating blog. It's very encouraging! Keep up the good work!
    Slow and steady wins the race! emoticon

    Grace from Slimming Seniors
    192 days ago
    What an emoticon blog!! Thank you so much!
    emoticon on the weight you've lost so far. I know you'll keep going. emoticon emoticon
    I think it's wonderful that you can now walk with greater ease. Stepping up onto curbs is hard for me!

    emoticon emoticon
    192 days ago
    emoticon emoticon
    192 days ago
    You are doing great and making progress. Terrific blog.
    192 days ago
    Thanks for being so open about your struggles- it is so much like me. You inspire us- showing us how hard it is, but you've made strides in your goals.
    Little by little We will get there!
    In watching Biggest Loser premier right now. Seeing them at 300 plus pounds and doing those intense gym workouts amaze me! One lady started throwing up- that would have been me! Ugh! I'm same as you, with my setbacks last year-20 min. feels like I've walked a marathon!
    I have come to also truly believe spark streaks do work! I've started some exercise streaks recently and still going after 2 months! emoticon emoticon emoticon
    Thank you for the super nice note on the goodie. Meant a lot! Glad we're a friends! emoticon
    192 days ago
    Miller, I am sooooo proud of you. When we first start something new, it is always scary. I compare it to a baby learning to walk. Just keep pushing and you will walk for 30 minutes. My knees and back hurt me so bad sometimes, but someone told me to march in place and the steps will add up. I use to be lucky to get 800 steps a day, today I got 2,640 so far, but yesterday I only got 884. Always listen to your body, and don't compare yourself to someone else. That is one thing I have learned.
    192 days ago
  • 8HABIT
    Your blog is awesome! My goodness, you are so inspiring and you are pointing me to a better way! Thank you so much for sharing this. I am realizing from reading your blog that I have NOT be trying hard enough.

    FYI- I feel good if I get 200 minutes a week.

    Thank you again!
    Ellen emoticon
    192 days ago
  • CINDYKC2000
    You are doing great Miller. Most of us eat all over our calorie range. Sometimes our bodies need a little more nutrition. Congrats on the weight loss. Always remember that as you work out you are building muscle which weighs more than fat. Watch how your clothes fit and how you feel more than the scale.

    WooHoo on getting up the curb without even thinking about it. You are definitely getting stronger.
    192 days ago
  • RETAT60
    You are doing fantastic! Do not compare all your hard work to others. We are each different. We all try to walk that tightrope and fear the next fall. But if you do fall just get right back up and try again! You inspire me!
    192 days ago
  • SANDYH7057
    Very inspiring blog. Thank you!
    192 days ago
  • no profile photo SILVERNANCY
    emoticon emoticon
    192 days ago
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    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.

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