Sometimes things beyond our control turn out disastrous. This is what happened when my husband, recovering from hand surgery got the call from his daughter. She changed her mind, and would not be coming down for a visit. His expectations were high, and he was let down. Again. Also, he was taking pain meds and started talking when perhaps, he should have been quiet.
No longer could he ignore the hurt and frustration. He had stuffed and hidden his sadness too often, and all the pain and disappointment came together into one big ball of anger and resentment. Too many times he had said; I’m fine. I understand.”
Then the text came. “I can’t make it down to see you Dad.”
He called her up and expressed his honest feelings, thoughts, and perceptions. In a word, he exploded. John was being true to himself as he told how he felt disrespected and taken advantage of. We had made many trips to see her, but somehow, this consideration was not extended to him.
Yesterday, the pain in his hand and heart pushed him over the edge, and he felt the need to honor himself. He honored his own feelings, and it was not received well at all.
This time, we are alone and quite happy with each other. Perhaps one day she will apologize. Maybe not. Speaking truth is empowering, but risky.
Our expectations for one visit from Laura proved to be too high.
My husband spoke his truth and was rejected-at least temporarily. Speaking up has to be a balance of speaking the truth and nurturing love at the same time.
I'm hoping that there are forgiveness and healing on the road ahead. Hopefully, this path will lead us back to joy and understanding.
One can only hope that the road to happiness is still under construction.