~*~SPUNKI~*~
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Reality

Sunday, December 29, 2019

My reality is that I have never, and will never have a home life that is conducive to putting myself first. I have to make it happen, and with that being said. It makes me look around. I have a husband who doesn't hold my hand when we go shopping, he walks far behind me. he doesn't even look at things with me. I wonder why he even tags along. I feel he is ashamed of me. Instead of harboring that feeling... its swept under the rug, and I'm using it to fuel my motivation. Honestly, if he is that shallow after all these years together, then so be it. He isn't skinny, or healthy, he doesn't "eat right and work out".. how he can judge me so blatantly has me a little pissed off. We do not do anything together, nothing lovingly, and certainly nothing under them covers.
so while I feel like my weight gain is causing my marriage to fall apart, I also feel like.... I am still me. I can lose the weight, but he will continue to be a shady little punk.

I could go on for a while, but I'll close this here. I am facing a real truth right now. Oh, well. I know I am a good person, a great wife, and I am a beautiful 44yr old woman!!

Tomorrow is day 1 !! *oh and I cant talk to him about how I think or feel because I am crazy, and he is perfectly fine*

Love to all
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • DAWNWATERWOMAN
    Focus on you. That is who you can change. Make yourself your number one priority. Congratulations on getting into Nursing school. Good job! Happy New Year to you.
    96 days ago
  • LINDA7677
    I swear I am married to his brother. I have lost close to 70 pounds and still get the same treatment.
    97 days ago
  • SHOAPIE
    May not be easy but have a little “me” time everyday. Have you asked him if he is ashamed of you? You may be surprised by his answer. emoticon emoticon
    97 days ago
  • ~*~SPUNKI~*~
    No one else is taking care of me. I am my responsibility, and I am going to prove to be absolutely amazing!

    I didn't put this in my blog, but, I begin Nursing School Jan 2020!! 2020 is my year!!
    New me. New career path... new perspective on my life!! emoticon emoticon
    97 days ago

    Comment edited on: 12/29/2019 7:57:22 PM
  • GODSBEST
    Congrats on your decision to take care of you for you.
    97 days ago
  • CLOUDWALKING
    Here is to day 1
    97 days ago
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