December 17, 2019
Tuesday, December 17, 2019
Progressive supranuclear palsy (PSP) is an uncommon brain disorder that affects movement, control of walking (gait) and balance, speech, swallowing, vision, mood and behavior, and thinking. The disease results from damage to nerve cells in the brain. My mother in law suffered with this untreatable disease. Please support the Cure PSP foundation. The link is below. Please think about donating. The research is so few and far between. We need to help people who suffer and get trapped inside their body.
My birthday was last week Wednesday, December 11, 2019. Things were going nicely. I was going to leave for my trip the next day. I received a call. My mother in law, who my husband and I help take care of had stopped breathing for a half hour at home and had been revived and had a pulse when leaving the house for the ER. She did not make it to the ER. She was gone.
Yes, we are so devastated to not be able to make her laugh and hug her and hold her hand and tell her we love her. But, as I was with her that day, she looked taller than I had seen her in years, more relaxed and beautiful than I had seen her in years. She wasn't scouling and scrunched in a ball because her muscles were so tight she couldn't straighten out. She looked like the old her, the one my children and we remembered. Not the woman she had become. We could feel her vibrant spirit there with us saying- it's ok, I here. She was a 4'9" fiesty loving Thai woman who was an amazing mother to me- even though she was my mother in law. The last time I saw her, she insisted on me holding her hand at a baptism of my nephew- her youngest grandchild. And she insisted I grab her hand when we got her home. She pulled me in and hugged me for the longest time, not letting go. She said, "I love you Katy" in her ma accent. I told her I loved her back always have and always will. I had a feeling that would be the last time, she was saying her good bye.
Her ceremony (Thai funeral with Buhdist monks) and wake will be this Friday. Needless to say, I have been anger eating and emotional eating. I tell myself I will be back on track after the new year.
I love you Ma.