15,000-19,999 SparkPoints 17,177

I have it all, except one thing

Friday, December 13, 2019

I'm truly bless beyond measure. I have it all. Jesus is my Lord and Savior. I have my daughter, step-daughters and grandchildren. I have wonderful church family. I have an roof over my head, clothes on my back and food on my table. Okay, so I don't have much furniture yet, but I have enough.
There is really only one thing lacking in my life. One thing that leaves me feeling empty at time. That one thing is a husband. Someone to love and cherish. Someone to share special moments with throughout life. I get real tired of not having a partner, when everyone else in the family seems to have someone.
When my husband died, I thought I would probably die too. I have heard stories of spouses being so in love and dying only hours or days a part. I thought surely that would happen, but it didn't. Now, here I am six and a half years later, shedding tears because I'm lonely and it's Christmastime and I don't want to live alone.
Yes, I know I have Jesus and God is always with me. The trouble is that I miss the company and closeness of a husband. I don't know that I would be happy with a husband that isn't the one I had before. I don't that any man would be willing to put up with me. I just know that the holidays make it harder to be alone.
Here I am sharing my deepest, darkest secret thoughts with a bunch of strangers on the world wide web. I must be insane.
Share This Post With Others
Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Today is my kazy day..i
    345 days ago
    Please add me to your friends list.
    345 days ago
    I know exactly how you feel..going thru it myself. My husband has been gone on without me....abd i been alone four and a half years. And it diesnt seem to get easier and 8 days. Holidays are the worst. I feel li ku e a wallflower at every event, like you looking at the world. Eavesdropping on everyobe else happiness and your spoiling the party if you just breath. And wirrued all tge time anour lising any oeace you have in your soul wishing you had died, because you feel like the walking dead. And every noise you hear in your house you continually feel threatened that your world is going to implode. The onky pi eace i have us when im out of my house. It seems. But your reminded of your loss constantly when people ask you, "How are you dojng" as if your about to fall apart like a china doll. Everyone oestering you. So i avoid some people. Because they seem clueless as to you are despite your fraility you want to be strong, but some think you are no longer valuable because what made you who you became is departed. Deathly being worst than a divorce. And you long forgotten for that companionship but you fear you would be
    sinning if you even looked at another man; because you miss him. Boy do i know those feelings tuggibg at my heart's strings.. Because. Its how you ste still in love with that perspn, as you feel more tued to their soul.yes i know how it feels.
    345 days ago
  • Add Your Comment to the Blog Post

    Log in to post a comment

    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.