Monday, November 18, 2019
Ugh. Why do we self sabotage? Why? I've been back at this for 2 months now and have really toed the line for a good 90% of it (hey, no one is perfect!). I'm down 17lbs, but more importantly, have lost a total of almost 12 inches overall in the last 2 months. I am beginning to see and feel the positive changes to my body. Yet, over the last two weekends, I have significantly backslid. I can hold steady during the week, but those weekends hit, man, and it's like all I can think about is burgers, fries, Chinese food, chip dip (my Achilles heel) etc. because, you know, "I'll get back on track on Monday." And also since I've been seeing the progress, I find those sneaky little thoughts like: "Of course you can have that! You've been working so hard! You DESERVE it!" are sneaking back in and wreaking havoc. Bad brain. BAD!
I've never been one to deprive myself of the "treats" now and again because when you do it leads to bingeing, and usually I can be pretty controlled with what goes in my face hole when the tempting foods are around. But, this past weekend I went overboard and now I feel all sorts of guilty - which really isn't good, either. I forgot how much of a mental game this is. I find that fighting my thoughts is so much harder than meal planning for the week or getting out of bed in the morning to exercise. It's like, whenever I see a bit of progress I convince myself that eating the way I once did (which got me to 237lbs) is okay because I'm exercising now and eat well most of the time. Self sabotage. How do I get around that?