No Ill Intentions
Tuesday, November 12, 2019
Every time you interact with family, friends, co-workers, you're given a choice. you can either listen to, acknowledge and let it go, or you can take what they've said personally.
In order to take something personally, you must read negativity in that individual's words or actions. However, if you really listen and take into account what is being said and who it is coming from you learn to discern and realize that what people do and say most times has really nothing to do with you and is usually based on what they themselves are experiencing, causing emotions.
Also, most times they have absolutely no clue as to what they may have made you feel. They are actually totally oblivious. So, if you do take what they do or say personally, you may end up feeling hurt without cause or reason.
Let them blow off their steam. Put that impersonal distance between you and let it "go in one ear and out the other."
If for whatever reason you let them get to you and take what they have said personally try to determine what is at the root of your own feelings. Ask yourself if the other person's words or actions are just reinforcing some insecurity within you or if you can really be sure that an offence was intended.
Don't let sleeping dogs lay either. If you feel the remarks were intended, ask them what they meant. Don't let it fester. You're only hurting yourself further that way. It's far better to clear the air.
Finally, put yourself in the other person's shoes. Instead of taking their words as truth, or as a personal affront, remember that whatever was said or done is based on their opinion and is more reflective of what is going on inside their mind and emotions, rather than having anything to do with you. You may have been an easy target for someone having a bad day, and their comments may have been offered with no ill intentions.
When you recognize that what anyone says, does or doesn't necessarily have anything to do with you, you will no longer feel hurt or attacked. While it's easy to take things personally, you should never let anyone's perceptions or actions affect how you see yourself or your worth. Your life is personal to you, and it is up to you to influence your own value and sense of well-being.
I've learned long ago that taking things personally is often the result of recognizing that the person's actions or words may or may not be an affront or slight. So, it's you learn to take the cherry and throw out the pit. That's if there is anything positive to kleen. If not, then take and deep breath and lend an ear. Beneath the "rant" may actually be a cry for help but they know no other way to ask.
© Copywrite MJ 2019