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Back to Battling the Beast

Monday, November 11, 2019

The Bingy Beast is back trying to sweetly entice me to eat all the food and go back to sugar-that evil ex! My body seems to want to bulk up for winter. Sustained stress combined with poor sleep has cortisol wreaking havoc with my hunger cues. Lately, I have a ravenous appetite and it seems to be getting harder, not easier to stop eating several hours before bed.

Even worse, this past weekend I decided to be THAT mom, the one who offers her kids' guests cookies. I know it wasn't a good idea, but my crazy brain thinks I am suddenly a natural.Three medium size cookies one day and 2 the next, I can assure you I am not a natural. The texture was oh so divine and I could feel the sugar activating dopamine and trying to seduce me into having more. Sugar truly is a drug for me.

The good news is it did not turn into a binge. My body actually helped me by making me feel lousy from a sugar crash. I also noticed the next morning both times, I was more groggy. I'm not used to sugar and butter anymore and they didn't agree with me. I got back on track. I reminded myself 5 cookies in a weekend is small cookies/potatoes (whatever that saying is ;)) as compared to the damage I could do in say an hour.

So I am back to being mindful. I have to track and make a series of healthy choices each day. The beast is back, but I know how to fight it: sleep, healthy foods, exercise, yada yada, I don't see more weightloss in the near future now that the Beast is so strong, but I will fight to maintain (and get more sleep!)

ETA: Checked my old blogs and this exact date a year ago, I was obsessing about holiday treats constantly. LOL!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Good for you! 5 cookies over a weekend is a nice treat.
    31 days ago
    Good for you for gaining control again. I am with you - I feel like eating all the time and this just has to stop! Your blogs are always so inspirational to me. i have finally gotten myself back to the gym after about a 4 week hiatus and I am moving my trigger foods where they aren't so accessible to me. I can't get rid of them altogether because my husband eats them and he actually needs the calories these days. Luckily I am not a huge fan of store-bought cookies so that's what he's had to enjoy these days. But I also have been feeling the urge to do some holiday baking! First I need to get myself back to myself!

    Keep it up, you're doing great!
    33 days ago
    Oh, gosh, I have the same weakness heading into the cold months. It's a struggle every year. But we can do this!
    emoticon emoticon
    33 days ago
    Good job keeping the damage to a minimum and recognizing what you'd rather do. emoticon
    33 days ago
    Oh, that battle is tough! That monster is strong. BUT the truth is, we're stronger. You are showing the beast who is boss by tracking, eating mindfully, being gentle w/yourself. The beast isn't counting on you being gentle w/yourself. The beast is counting on breaking you down so you succumb. NOPE, you're not going to let that happen!

    And BTW, I too believe that our ancestors were primed to build up fat to get us through the winter. Obviously, we're not hunter/gatherer's anymore, but our brains do revert to that, and the hormones are all part of it.

    Good luck, keep being gentle with yourself and making mindful choices. emoticon
    33 days ago
    I honestly think there's some mechanism in our bodies where our appetite increases as winter sets in. I know I've been much hungrier than usual lately. I try to steer this towards cooking up delicious stews and soups, but have also been eating larger portions of proteins. I think this is a separate issue from the holiday treats.
    33 days ago
    I can really relate to the lure of sugar. What I do when I want to indulge is remember how bad I felt after eating the sugar. I have a Work Vending Machine Mantra. I repeat "Poison" to myself if I find myself there. May sound a little extreme, but it's basically true for me.

    You did the right thing, getting right back on track. emoticon
    33 days ago
    33 days ago
  • PHOENIX1949
    emoticon on catching yourself before an all-out binge!
    33 days ago
    The date thing is really interesting. Has to be the weather, don't you think? Maybe the time change? Maybe homework and school stress? Probably a combination of everything.

    "but I know how to fight it: sleep, healthy foods, exercise, yada yada" that's is a winning plan.

    emoticon emoticon emoticon
    34 days ago
  • SPICY23
    emoticon battle that beast or invite it along on your walk (outside, away from food) during which you can ask it what it really needs.

    So much of this is a mind game, mediated by stress hormones. Ay yi yi
    I'm in the same boat. Trying to right my course and get moving in the direction I want rarther than the directions the winds and hormones are blowing.

    Peace and Care
    34 days ago
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