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Lashing out in pain

Friday, October 18, 2019

Happy Friday... I'm beat.. Didn't sleep well last night, got a little belly thing going on.. Yankees imploded once again. So they feel way worse than I do right now..

It's my parents 55th wedding anniversary today. Unfortunately, my mom fractured her tibia and fibula and she is in pain and a wee bit cranky 🙈🙊🙉.. she is still in an ace bandage she has to go Monday to the orthopedist. When they got home from the ER yesterday my dad and I were helping her in and she was struggling and she bumped the foot at one point and it was heartbreaking to see her in such pain. Then he bumped her foot by accident and well of course she lashed out..

I love my parents more than life itself and they are the most giving and selfless people I know but they are getting up in age (83 & 78) and when they are in a bad mood.. look out.. yesterday I was trying to keep both of them calm she gets upset, he gets upset, then she gets more upset then everyone is screaming.. anyway at one point when we were getting her to her favorite chair with the walker Pop remembered was in the garage, we had to move some furniture and I began to move the table.. she did not like the way I was moving it and began screaming at me.. then he started yelling at her.. so I very calmly said you sit down, you leave the room.. I got this.. you can scream at me and insult me all you want, you can't hurt my feelings and it's not going to stop me from making sure you are safe and sound.. so if you want to waste your breath go for it.. but it doesn't phase me. Silence.. I wasn't going to engage so no more need to yell. Within moments it was forgotten and we were discussing soap opera stars because General Hospital came on.

Why am I telling you this? Certainly not to speak badly of my parents, because their kindness and compassion over the years has molded me and my siblings into who we are today. Their anonymous acts have created Christmases and life support for friends, family as well as strangers. They were our biggest supporters, had our back no matter what and always encouraged us to try anything our hearts desired. We were showered with love, affection, discipline and faith. As an adult, I found out things they did without notice or want of acknowledgement for neighbors growing up.

I am telling you this because we have all been in a situation where we feel attacked or get into a disagreement. People sometimes say mean things, some they mean, some just because they are lashing out due to their internal (or external) pain. Only we can decide if we engage or if we let it roll off our back. If you engage it will surely escalate, if you do not, there is a better chance of it fizzling out. While I understand there are some situations that the attacks are relentless and depending on where they are coming from it is harder to just walk away, but you can always practice the response...

I will not allow your words to hurt me and despite your words I will not be unkind to you.

You don't have to say these words out loud if you are unable, but I urge you to at the very least, say them to yourself! PS These words are also helpful if you are the aggressor towards yourself.

On that thought I must depart and get ready to tackle my day.. Yesterday I was in a really good place and laser focused and got a lot accomplished. Probably a reason I was able to just let everything roll off my back.... today it will take a lot of willpower to achieve that same goal. Have a fantastic Friday! #itsallweightrelated

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    sorry about your parents having problems .
    504 days ago
  • EISSA7
    So very sorry to hear about your Mom....that is terrible for her, as well as your Dad! Love your response....what a perfect thing to say!
    504 days ago
    This was very interesting. Thank you! I try not to react to others upsets but it is so hard to do. It is something I really need to practice!
    505 days ago
    So very sorry for your Mom . . . . and DAd and you. She is definitely dealing w/a lot of pain. Wishing her luck @ the orthopedist Monday. So sorry.

    YOU are so wise to just decide not to engage. I sure hope she feels better!

    HUGS for you AND your parents.
    506 days ago

    Well Done... Good advice...

    It is difficult, at best, to accept help especially when one is usually the one who gives rather than the one who receives...
    For some ... it is so much easier to give than to receive.

    506 days ago
    Hope your Mother is in less pain soon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    506 days ago
    You are a wise Daughter....

    So very sorry for your Mom--
    506 days ago
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