Tuesday, October 15, 2019
I started running again yesterday. Yup. Logged my first official run in a C25K program! It was extremely humbling to have to start from square one again but afterwards I felt strong, and... accomplished. Two things I have not felt physically (or mentally!) in a couple of years. I forgot how much I enjoyed running; how freeing it was.
I've been focusing on nutrition and getting back into a fitness routine for about a month now. The results have been small (down about 7lbs) and I still have to make some adjustments here and there but things are moving in the right direction. I always knew that running again was the key to better success but I kept putting it off. And here's why...
My last race was in 2016; it was a half marathon relay. Previous to that I had done many 5K's, a couple of 10K's and a half marathon. My last real event was in 2014 before I took a bit of a break and only ran once a week or so for fitness. My running partner for this particular relay was (is) a seasoned runner who has completed countless halfs and a couple of fulls. She is also very encouraging and motivating and one of my most favourite people to run with. She asked me to do this relay with her (with lots of time to prepare), I think as a way to get me motivated again and give me a goal - and so I agreed. All I had to do was run 6 miles (10K). Easy peasey, right? Well, I started to train for it, albeit a bit half-@ssed, and as race day approached I knew I was going to be in trouble. I was NOT prepared. Not even close - and I told her so. She opted to run my half of the relay with me for encouragement and keep me company, and then switch off and complete the second part on her own. It was hard, so very very hard. Both emotionally and physically. Every inch of my body was screaming at me and I felt broken. My lack of commitment showed up in spades that day and I was very disappointed in myself. After that, I put the shoes away and didn't think I'd ever want to run again.
I am not sure what's changed or why I feel that now is a good time to start again, but I'm done questioning it. I have to move past that failure and push on. I've got itchy feet. Where are my running shoes?