250-499 SparkPoints 373

I am back

Thursday, October 10, 2019

Hi all, once again I fell into what I call the relationship trap, was with my ex for 4 years and am right back up to over 200. Not sure why I do so good when single but fall off when in a relationship. I have now been no contact with ex for almost 2 months. Honestly he had a huge drinking problem, he would get drunk multiple times a week and would always be very verbally abusive, but then tell me that I shouldn't be hurt by what he says when drunk...I am still so confused about everything and am not sure if I am such a horrible person that I deserved it, I keep second guessing everything, sorry all not in a good place at all. While we were together I had to give up my friends because he didnt like them was accused of cheating even though I couldn't even go to dr. Without him, he actually told one counselor we were seeing that I would be allowed to work if he knew for sure I didnt talk to any guys. Been told he is a narcissist and I am suffering from abuse...but he never hit maybe I was just to sensitive. Sorry rambling at 2 in the morning, decided to write on here because I want to hide my feelings behind food, or to call him, he keeps making noise that he wants me back, but I just can't. I am so broken right now and damn I cant get a break when it comes to relationships...maybe it is me..
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    You deserve real loving, and that starts with loving yourself. You do NOT deserve that abuse.

    9 days ago
  • GREG_D07103
    I am so sorry you going through this rough time but you are better than that and you should not have to deal with such abuse. I will not judge your ex, but it doesn't seem like they are good for you.

    Don't worry about gaining back some weight. This is a great opportunity to start working on you.
    Good luck and keep on Sparking! emoticon
    9 days ago
    Have faith in yourself ๐Ÿค—. Be patient and you will find the right one ๐Ÿ‘. Get yourself healthy and confident and someone will be knocking at your door๐Ÿ‘. ( And NOT the pizza delivery person๐Ÿ˜‰). Blessings for a wonderful day ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ™
    10 days ago
    Keep trudging that road to happy destiny emoticon
    10 days ago
  • ELVY83
    Sending you love. โค๏ธ
    10 days ago
  • LOF7203
    Yes, that is an abusive relationship. You can do better. Focus on you, and it is ok to do that.
    10 days ago
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