I am back
Thursday, October 10, 2019
Hi all, once again I fell into what I call the relationship trap, was with my ex for 4 years and am right back up to over 200. Not sure why I do so good when single but fall off when in a relationship. I have now been no contact with ex for almost 2 months. Honestly he had a huge drinking problem, he would get drunk multiple times a week and would always be very verbally abusive, but then tell me that I shouldn't be hurt by what he says when drunk...I am still so confused about everything and am not sure if I am such a horrible person that I deserved it, I keep second guessing everything, sorry all not in a good place at all. While we were together I had to give up my friends because he didnt like them was accused of cheating even though I couldn't even go to dr. Without him, he actually told one counselor we were seeing that I would be allowed to work if he knew for sure I didnt talk to any guys. Been told he is a narcissist and I am suffering from abuse...but he never hit me..so maybe I was just to sensitive. Sorry rambling at 2 in the morning, decided to write on here because I want to hide my feelings behind food, or to call him, he keeps making noise that he wants me back, but I just can't. I am so broken right now and damn I cant get a break when it comes to relationships...maybe it is me..