Day 1 : So It Begins!
Monday, October 07, 2019
I'm sure it's the same story as a million other people start out with. I stepped on the scale this morning and the number blew my mind... Revealing a number putting me at the largest I've ever been in my life. This isn't the first time I've freaked out about this, but the closer I inch to 500 and the more I breathe and realize how much I can't breathe, the more I think of my son and how I don't want him to be motherless.
So of course, I started crying. I called my mom while she drove to work. Selfish I know. But she talked me down and told me about this site as she had used it when she was losing weight many years ago. Said it provided a great deal of tools that would help me and that the support of the community was second to none. So here I am... Treating my blogs like a journal and tracking my food and work outs.
I walked one mile this morning for the first time in... I don't even know how long. And I almost couldn't do it... I struggled to keep my breath. At the end I felt like I was dying. Note to self. Keep water bottle near by. 15 minutes really can kill you. Or at least make you feel like you're dead.
I'm sorry. That is a bit morbid. Unfortunately that is somewhat my state of mind right now, and that is not the state of mind I want to have. I need to fight. To change. To live.
Please don't judge me too harshly.