CYNDILOU85
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Day 1 : So It Begins!

Monday, October 07, 2019

I'm sure it's the same story as a million other people start out with. I stepped on the scale this morning and the number blew my mind... Revealing a number putting me at the largest I've ever been in my life. This isn't the first time I've freaked out about this, but the closer I inch to 500 and the more I breathe and realize how much I can't breathe, the more I think of my son and how I don't want him to be motherless.

So of course, I started crying. I called my mom while she drove to work. Selfish I know. But she talked me down and told me about this site as she had used it when she was losing weight many years ago. Said it provided a great deal of tools that would help me and that the support of the community was second to none. So here I am... Treating my blogs like a journal and tracking my food and work outs.

I walked one mile this morning for the first time in... I don't even know how long. And I almost couldn't do it... I struggled to keep my breath. At the end I felt like I was dying. Note to self. Keep water bottle near by. 15 minutes really can kill you. Or at least make you feel like you're dead.

I'm sorry. That is a bit morbid. Unfortunately that is somewhat my state of mind right now, and that is not the state of mind I want to have. I need to fight. To change. To live.

Please don't judge me too harshly.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • PIZZA5152
    Thank you for sharing from your heart. Do a little each day and track everything. This really does work.
    178 days ago
  • BIKE4HEALTH
    SP rally works if we stick to the plan and support it gives. Share with us your successes
    180 days ago
  • RHOOK20047
    Welcome to SparkPeople. We are all here for the same reason, no matter what our personal story is. We are here to help each other to get to that healthy point we want to be in our lives. It is not going to be easy, but it is attainable. Make small goals and they will lead to big successes. You have to make you #1 and tell yourself that you are worth it. And remember you didn't gain the weight overnight and you won't lose it overnight. It takes time, determination, motivation and support. You can get it all right here! If you don't take care of yourself you can't take care of anyone else. If I can help in anyway, feel free to reach out to me! You can do it! We are here to help! Welcome and get active on this site. emoticon
    181 days ago
  • DWROBERGE
    emoticon emoticon emoticon
    181 days ago
  • PYNETREE
    Welcome ! I Hope You find ☆SPARK People☆ to Be as Useful, Motivating, & Encouraging as I Have. YOU Are Off to a Strong, Productive Start with Your 1 Mile Walk! That's ☆SPARKING STRONG!☆
    182 days ago
  • 1DAY-ATA-TIME
    You can do this. Take it one day at a time, one step at a time. You'll have good days and bad days but don't give up. I wish you the best on your journey
    182 days ago
  • PLCHAPPELL
    You can and you will - no judgement here - stay focused
    182 days ago
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    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.
 

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