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Jokes and online courses

Monday, September 16, 2019

On September 15th, National Online Learning Day showcases how students of all ages are thriving with the ability to learn online—anywhere, anytime. It seeks to cultivate awareness of, and support for, this ever-growing community of learners and to celebrate the future of online education—wherever technology and our imaginations take us! What have you learned online in the past and/or what are you interested in learning in the future?
I started online learning early .Ohio used to have a Eohio learning group. I took classes in excel, access, typing. and powerful point. I also took classes online from our local community classes. I took mostly business classes. I took courses in production, accounting, business math, inventory, and Introduction to Business. Since I have a speech defect it was easier to take a online course where I didn't need to talk..

jokes
The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight because by then, your body and your fat are really good friends.
~~~~~
I gave up jogging for my health when my thighs kept rubbing together and setting my pantyhose on fire.
Jun 09
The Redneck Dictionary of Medical Terms before you thinking I am making fun of hillbilly half my family come from the hills of West Virginia
Medical Jokes No Comments » Virgin

Artery…………………………..The study of paintings.
Bacteria…………………………Back door to a cafeteria.
Benign………………………….What you be after you be eight
Cesarean Section…………….A neighborhood in Rome.
CTscan………………………….Searching for kitty.
Cauterize……………………….Made eye contact with her.
Colic…………………………….A sheep dog.
Coma……………………………A punctuation mark.
D & C……………………………Where Washington is.
Dilate……………………………To live long.
Enema…………………………..Not a friend.
Fester……………………………Quicker than someone else.
Fibula……………………………A small lie.
Genital…………………………..Non-Jewis
h person.
G.I.Series……………………….World Series of military baseball.
Hangnail…………………………What you hang your coat on.
Impotent…………………………Distinguis
hed, well known.
Labor Pain……………………….Getting hurt at work.
Medical Staff……………………A doctor’s cane.
Morbid……………………………A higher offer than I bid.
Nitrates………………………….Cheaper than day rates.
Node……………………………..I knew it.
Outpatient……………………….A person who has fainted.
Pap Smear………………………A fatherhood test.
Pelvis……………………………Second cousin to Elvis.
Post Operative…………………..A letter carrier.
Recovery Room…………………Place to do upholstery.
Rectum……………………………Darn near killed him.
Secretion…………………………Hiding something.
Seizure…………………………..Roman emperor.
Tablet……………………………A small table.
Terminal Illness…………………Getting sick at the airport.
Tumor…………………………….More than one.
Urine…………………………….Opposite of you’re out.
Varicose………………………….Near by / close by.


One of the mysteries of life is that a two pound box of chocolates can make you gain five pounds.
The reason women over 50 don't have babies is because we would put them down and Forget where we put them.
It's time to give up jogging for your health when your thighs keep rubbing together and starting your pants on fire.
What happens if you confuse your Valium with your birth control pills?
You have 12 kids, but you don't really care.

Skinny people bug me. They say things like, "Sometimes I forget to eat." Now, I've forgotten my keys, my glasses, my address and my mother's maiden name. But I have never forgotten to eat! You have to be a special kind of stupid to forget to eat!

What is the best way to forget your troubles? Wear tight clothes.
One of the mysteries of life is that a two pound box of chocolates can make you gain five pounds.
Why is it harder to lose weight as you get older? Because by that time your body and your fat have become really good friends.
My mind doesn't wander, it leaves completely.
What happens when you leave an outfit hanging in your closet for a while? I shrinks two sizes.
It's nice to live in a small town, because if you don't know what you are doing, someone else does.
I read some article which said that the symptoms of stress are impulse buying, eating too much and driving too fast. Are they kidding? That's what I call a perfect day.
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