Hello, my dear friends!
Saturday was a big night for me. It was another 'first' without my beloved hubby. I hosted 20 friends to our home for a dine-in get together.
This is when the hostess cooks the main course and assigns side dishes and appetizers and dessert assignments to the other guests.
I knew it was high time I take my turn hostessing since I had attended several of the other functions.
I wasn't really sure I could pull it off...there is SO much to do when you host such a large group. I invited two couples from the neighborhood to join us because they have been so very kind and supportive of me since the loss of my beautiful husband in late June.
I thought I would slip them in because I thought two couples (4 people) from the regular group were out of town. Well...surprise...the two couples returned to town and accepted my invitation so I had more people than I was originally counting on...but everything worked out well and we all had a good time.
I had an all-time record with my Fitbit on steps (I think it was close to 20,000 steps) because I was in constant movement from the time my feet hit the floor getting out of bed about 7 a.m. until almost midnight when I finally fell into bed unable to sleep although exhausted because I was so geared up from the event. Wow...talk about being overstimulated when I usually just sit in a chair gazing at the television like I'm interested. I'm not...I'm just coping within the moment.
I'm SO mad at myself that I didn't take pictures of the actual party...it didn't even occur to me...duh!
I do have a few pics of the beautiful flowers I planted to spruce up the patio for my company to enjoy.
I set in some gorgeous mums and tried some succulents for a change. My little orchids were all showing off their beautiful flowers, it's as if they knew company was coming.
I swept the lanai, hosed it off, and wiped down all of the wicker furniture the whole time remembering how my hubby had always handled that task with ease. It was a bittersweet time for me. We tend to take our loved one's contributions to our lives for granted never realizing how very important they were until they are gone.
The patio looked sparkling clean and I am so happy it is finally getting a sliver cooler so I can sit out at night with a glass of wine. This will be another bittersweet thing for me...it just won't ever be as enjoyable as it was with my sweetheart beside me.
Give your loved ones a BIG, BIG hug and let them know how very important they are in your world. Do it now...life is fleeting.
Here are a few shots of the tables...of course this is the aftermath...I had stripped all of the beautiful tablecloths and centerpieces but you get the point..it was a LOT of people!
And....the plates...oh my GOSH the plates!
The dishwasher has been broken forever...and I saw no need to spend the money to have it repaired since it's just me now...but boy oh boy with a crowd like Saturday it surely would have come in handy! Luckily, my friends, hand washed and hand dried every last plate and silver for me. It was SOOOO appreciated and very, very kind of them. Guests aren't supposed to have to work when they are invited to dinner but I'm sure happy these aren't typical guests...they are friends in the biggest sense of the word! I am truly blessed to have them in my life as I'm also truly blessed to have you...my sparky friends also.
Today was another first for me. I've been seeing a grief counselor every other week and she has been gently suggesting I might want to come to her group grief meeting. I've been dragging my feet on that for weeks now. I tried a grief group when we lost our son back in 2006 and it was not a good experience.
I wanted to go just to hear someone say I would eventually recover...I'd eventually want to live again and my life would go on. The ladies I met at the one and only meeting were so emotional and sooooo stuck in their grief. I met several ladies that were so raw I thought their child must have passed recently...like weeks ago recently. I found that the child had been gone for 8 years for one mother and 10 years for another mother.
I knew I didn't want to be those mothers...so horribly stuck in their grief they were buried in the event. I realized I could do better on my own and eventually I was able to function again.
I imagine it will be the same with the loss of my sweetheart. At least I'm hoping it will. Right now it takes everything I have just to get out of bed in the morning. I'm so thankful to have the consignment gallery...it forces me to get up, get dressed, and engage with the world. Without that...I'd probably just be a housebound crazy cat lady because I'd adopt every little cat I could.
The grief group was different. I met some very nice ladies who have lost their husbands most within the last year and I was surprised to see so many men in the group. I think there were at least 5. That seems unusual to me...most of the time men don't attend these kinds of things. I can't see my husband ever going to something like this if our roles were reversed. But maybe he would if he was seeing a grief counselor that encouraged him the way mine has. If he'd even see a grief counselor...I just don't know. I guess we will never know.
Everyone introduced themselves and told a little about their story. Most marriages were long term so I guess the adjustment is harder. I liked the ladies very much and will make an effort to attend some of the early dinners they do on the 1st and 3rd Saturday of the month.
It's great to have friends but friends that are walking in your shoes are wonderful. If I can offer anything I can offer a compassionate ear so it will help me and hopefully them as well.
Well...my friends...it's late and I have to work tomorrow so I'll say goodnight...this is a safe place for me to share my journey and I appreciate you indulging me with the shoulders to lean on!
If I can ever be of help to you..remember I'm only a spark page away!