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The Strength Must Come From Inside

Thursday, September 05, 2019

I can try to get those around me to support my weightloss and self-care efforts, but in the end the strength to persevere must be from within. There will always be food-pushers. There will always be people who tell me to take care of myself and then try to manipulate to get me to do what they want when they want it. I am a people-pleaser by nature, but have learned to reign it in. I have had to work hard to become a stable tree with firm roots where no matter what winds blow or what storms come, I may lose some branches, but I stand tall and with resolve.

Most importantly, I have needed to become my own advocate and protector and I have had to learn to let go of caring what people think of me. I remember a famous world-traveling chef claiming it was rude to ever reject food from someone because it was like rejecting them or their culture. I respectfully disagree. I feel I have a right to say "It looks delicious, but I am full." In my opinion, if the person gets offended, that is their issue, not mine.

Part of maintaining my weight is keeping boundaries in general. I was tested this past weekend when I spent time with extended family. My own sibling bad-mouthed me taking out of context the times I set limits when it came to helping a parent. I didn't run to junk food. I didn't set the record straight or start a huge fight. I simply maintained my distance from that family member, reminded those who gave me digs that there was a whole context to that story and I reminded myself of all I had done and I was at peace.

The true gems in life are those who allow you to be strong. They don't attempt to chop down your tree and create storms and turmoil. Regardless though, the strength and resolve must be internal. We don't need permission or approval to take care of ourselves. We just need the fortitude.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I'm also a people-pleaser in recovery. Setting boundaries is the key to owning your life and choices. I'm glad you're able to stand up to the saboteurs.
    43 days ago
  • SPICY23
    emoticon File the information away for future interactions; know that you can't trust those individuals and can expect trouble from them. This awareness will allow you to plan ahead how and under what circumstances you will respond. Sometimes it's wise to prepare.

    Stay strong, you are dealing with this beautifully. Plenty of inner strength!

    Peace and Care
    44 days ago

    Comment edited on: 9/6/2019 8:07:10 PM
  • NEPT45
    Right on!!!
    45 days ago
    Jealousy...they resent your success. Healthy boundaries are difficult. It's wonderful that you were able to keep a safe distance. Stay strong...stay focused. emoticon
    45 days ago
    Good job on all fronts.☺☺☺
    45 days ago
    I love your analogy of the tree. We have a very large, very old Maple in our back yard. I can be sure that when the winds and rain come there will be plenty of branches and leaves but she stands tall and firm giving us great shade all summer long. Good for you for setting your boundaries and standing firm. I also believe that I should be able to say no to food when I choose!
    45 days ago
    I'm sorry your family get-togethers have to be that way.
    45 days ago
    We won't even go down the path of advice given for caregiving from those who aren't involved in the care at all. Setting boundaries is soooooooooo important for so many reasons and it's just the best way to go.

    I personally do not feel bad turning down food for sure. It's a personal choice to do so. Doesn't even matter WHY. So, stand your ground, warrior woman! Set and defend those boundaries. That's your right.
    46 days ago
    They're more comfortable when you're fatter than they are... don't let them sabotage you.
    46 days ago
    Siblings and aging parents? Recipe for disaster, no matter how strong the family is. So, GOOD FOR YOU for standing tall!
    46 days ago
    Well said.
    46 days ago
  • ENOVAK44
    You have a great mind set! Kudos to you for setting boundaries!
    46 days ago
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