Sometimes a girl just wants a bubble bath
Wednesday, September 04, 2019
Last night was hard. There are so many things in this life that I have learned to handle. Earthquakes, volcanic eruptions, tarantulas in my bedroom, cockroaches in the bathroom, lizard chases through the house, keeping my mouth shut tightly in the shower, not having access to clean water unless I pack my own, disinfecting fruits and vegetables before eating any of them, random power outages, the injustice of watching the rich steal from the poor, the crazy mountain roads that make me wonder if we'll survive the trip home from the grocery store...
Our hot water has been giving us issues again and I had to stand in the shower with our youngest while we tried to figure out what temp the water was going to be just so I could wash her hair. It would be blistering and then freezing and there wasn't any rhyme or reason to it. She had to jump in and out of the water just so I could get her hair clean and the whole process took more time and energy than mama could really spare.
I broke down. I was too tired to fight it anymore. My husband arrived home from a meeting and I cried. I just wanted a bath, a moment of quiet, some time to relax. I wanted to go back to where there were building codes and safety ordinances and repair men who could speak my own language. (The little things are the ones that often set us off into despair, the big things are too big for us to handle. It's the stuff that should be easy that wears away at us.) He fidgeted around with the water heater and pump and we think that he's figured out the right settings for now. I had a long hot uninterrupted shower. Then I pulled out my special imported cheese and fancy plain triscuits (that came to me in my MIL's suitcase because they don't exist here) and we watched a cooking show on youtube.
In the States, my stress relief was taking a bath or driving down a quiet country road all by myself but neither of those things are an option here. I can't remember the last time I was actually alone here. It's hard on this introverted missionary's wife but I'm learning how to take care of me again. I just need to remember that it's OKAY for me to need to rest as long as I need to rest. Self care isn't laziness, it's taking care of yourself so that you are able to take care of others.
Sometimes life just wears us down. I know the Lord sees my paltry sacrifices. He reminded me again that He sees and knows and loves me just the same last night after I had finally been able to get some rest. It's not easy living so far away from home and comfort and ease. Sometimes a girl just wants a bubble bath.