I love this picture, because it speaks volumes. The first half of the day, I could barely get out of bed to go to the bathroom. At 2 I made myself get out of bed and have some coffee and take a shower, I don't want my kids seeing me falling apart like that. So I've exhausted myself spending time with them and trying to be Mom.
I have bipolar. I am not ashamed. It is a flaw in chemistry, not me. I am not bipolar, I have bipolar. I also have fingernails, but I am not fingernails. I am me. And this is just a part of me that I have to deal with. I have not had this bad of a time in a long while. But I'm working with my psychiatrist to get it under control. I was manic just the other day, today I'm sinking fast into a bad depression. I hope the medication change helps soon.
I messaged my DH at one point and told him what was going on. You know what his response was? Eat some ice cream and think about something happy. I love this man more than words can express.
I got the kids to help with cleaning, along with doing their homework and such. I worked on my main goals for Eat That Frog Workbook.
I also weighed myself. I feel so horrible. I'm up 26 pounds. I'm at 192, ever so close to the number I swore I'd never be at again: 200. I don't even know what I ate today. I ate what was easy because I didn't have the energy for anything else. I said I was going to start working out today, but I have to clean the treadmill today, and when you are this depressed, those kind of things are like huge mountains that requires so much energy they seem impossible.
So, I'm doing what I can. I know I'm lacking in the sleep department, so sleeping some extra is fine, to help catch up on sleep, but I don't want to do too much and fall into the depression trap. It's a fine line.
I'll try to check in, but if I don't it is because I'm just having a hard time getting by. I'm hoping I can at least log on and spin the wheel, I want to keep my spark streak going!