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Day 17/Coming Down but Keeping Going!

Tuesday, September 03, 2019

emoticon emoticon Part of being bipolar is the ups and downs. I've been on an 'up' for quite a while, but been sick and sleep deprived, and trying to take care of sick family (and keep myself from spending too much, a bad habit when I'm manic!!). Now I'm coming 'down', I can feel it. I'm slept more last night than I have in weeks, which is good, but is a sign of coming down. The way my cycles usually go, I'll start to come down and then 'crash' into a severe depression. The worse the manic, the worse the depression. And this was the longest manic I've had in a very long time. My psychiatrist is working with me, but he took Friday off, and wasn't clear on his instructions in his last message to me. But did say to message him yesterday so he would get it first thing this morning, so I have to keep an eye on the app today (it's supposed to also send a message saying I have a new message on the app to my email, but that part does not work yet, lol). He's a good one, and though he messes up from time to time, like putting me on a med that can cause mania in people with bipolar, he tries. He's one of the best I've seen.

My energy ran out completely yesterday several times. I took two naps with my pup, she is so sweet, she will get up and leave, but every time I wake up she is right beside me. She won't leave me for long. And goodness gracious if DH closes the door if the kids get loud! She will paw at the door and whine till she is let in, then come flop dramatically beside me and put her head on my head and neck and lick me to make sure I am okay. Love her!!

But, running out of energy, both physically and mentally, are signs I'm coming down. I'm glad, but I'm so afraid I'm going to crash into a bad depression. Working out will help, so I'm going to make sure I do that today. Keeping busy will help too, so that will be big on my To Do list today, staying active and trying to meet my steps goal. One of the side effects from my brain going from high gear for so long to slowing down is that words elude me. Sometimes just typing, I'll skip words, or parts of words. Yesterday while talking to ODD it took me like 4 or 5 tries to find the correct word!! I told YDD to take out the garbage, because at the last second I looked at the garbage and it was full, but I did not realize that was what I had said. I had meant for her to take out the dogs!!! Then I was wondering where she had gone because I could still see the dogs!

This is the Blogilates Beginner Calendar (2.0) that I'm beginning today. I wanted to start yesterday, but I was so tired, there was no way I could have:


I love Cassey, she's so real and honest on her blog and in her videos!! I'll probably end up doing the beginner calendar at least 2 times before I'm able to start doing her regular monthly calendars. Maybe more times... I am really out of shape!! I'm going to add minutes to my treadmill time every week. I was going to add a full 5 minutes, but I think it depends on how I'm doing and what I feel like I can do, I really don't want to overdo it! Lots of stretching!! I saved some stretching for back and shoulders as well as the hip opening yoga flow sequence I'll be doing (that is my worst area that needs stretching, and my IT band).

So, the shake I was going to try yesterday? The strawberry sorbet mixed with diet lemonade? Yeah, it went bad in June. I'm so glad I looked before I tried to drink it! So I'm waiting on the samples I ordered from the brand I trust, Syntrax. It is where I get my Twisted Cherry shake that I mix with water that I like so much. And Isopure is where I get the chocolate. I don't like the chocolate on it's own, it just needs more flavor! So I add like 5 frozen strawberries to it, and that makes it taste good. Or if I need the calories I add half a frozen banana (cut into chunks before freezing) and a Tbsp of peanut butter.

This is one of the reasons I'm not giving up coffee like I had originally intended. Gotta have at least one vice, right? Everything in moderating, even moderation. Well, I guess eating oatmeal on a Paleo plan would be another one, but in my defense, my doctor is confusing. Milk is not Paleo, but he wants the protein in the shakes I drink to be whey protein isolate, because it is the easiest to absorb and most useful to the body (bariatric doctor)... it's derived from milk, so not Paleo. But, I tried drinking English Breakfast tea in place of coffee, and while I do like it and enjoy it, it is not coffee. I'm down to two cups a day, in the morning before the kids get up (so far, I'm hopefully not going to be waking up this early all the time) and I'm planning on getting that back down to one cup of coffee a day except on certain occasions. On Sundays we get a latte to take to church, and I'm hoping I can get used to not drinking coffee before we leave (we leave early to help with set up). I also usually have a latte to take to therapy or psychiatrist appointments. It's like a comfort to me to have it to drink during those hard discussions.

I know I posted a link to this recipe yesterday, but I'm so excited to try it! I'll be able to make it one at a time for those times when I need something warm (if I like it no more excuses for my oatmeal!) and sweet. It just sounds so good!


Sadly, I have decided I do not like butternut squash. I have really wanted to like it, roasted, it looks so yummy. But I tried some, finally, from the store, made it at home, and just could not. I love yellow squash and zucchini. I've only tried spaghetti squash once, in a restaurant, and I'm pretty sure they didn't cook it enough, so I'm willing to try it again, making it at home so I can cook it long enough. But I'm still trying to find more veggies to like. I love Brussel sprouts. Yes, you read that right: I love Brussel sprouts.... oven roasted with a dash of olive oil (sometimes a small splash of sesame oil too for flavor) with just salt and pepper for seasoning. It is so good!! Pan roasted is okay too, especially with cranberries!! but boiled in any way? Yuck. I found that I like okra no only fried (like a good Southerner, lol) but also pickled with a little bit of heat. Yum. BIL bought some over vacation and I tried it, it was hot, but really good, and not slimy at all. I love asparagus, Mom used to buy it canned (because we lived in the middle of nowhere and they didn't have it fresh; I grew up thinking there were two types of apples - red and green. That was all we had in that small town!!). But now, I like it just about any way you can cook it, and do not really care for it canned because it loses so much flavor that way! Plush, it is mushy. So, I'm trying new things with veggies, and new veggies, if I can find them. I had diverticulitis for a while, but stuck to the diet restrictions to get rid of it that I found on the internet, and by the time they finally got me in for a CT scan, it had cleared up. Go me! Means I can have riced cauliflower again (have like 3 bags in the freezer!!) so no excuses to use regular rice any more. Any suggestions for yummy ways of fixing fruit or veggies are more than welcome! Feel free to comment below or send me a PM!! I'm having a hard time coming up with budget friendly things to make for my dinners that will please my tastebuds. Though the apple thing (I hope it doesn't have too many calories... will have to look at that) looks so good for warming up and having something naturally sweet!!

Okay, I promised my teen that I'd make coffee for both of us for my second cup, so off to make that, and some tea for my pre-teen (how did they get so grown up!?)

Hoping this will be a good day!! emoticon

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