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Reset for Fall

Sunday, August 25, 2019

A dear friend asked me a question about my mental state. My first reaction was, "oh no, I'm fine... " but I've also been trying not to go with my first reaction to what someone says. It can pay off well if you don't reply quickly and without thinking about it for a bit. And yes, there is a place for the quick retort and for taking care of situations quickly and accurately, but this situation was not one of those.

She asked if I was all right because my quotation posts in the community feed seemed to indicate melancholy and a pretty deep sadness. And what I realized after thinking about it for a bit was that I was picking quotations that spoke to me, and yes, picking ones that were melancholy.

So here's the answer... I suffer from SAD (seasonal affective disorder). The area where I live has been exceptionally cloudy, and yes, the days are getting shorter. The "fix" is comparatively easy compared to other issues and involves getting outside more, increasing exercise, eating healthy, and being aware that this is part of what's going on for me. Which helps me be less snappy and grouchy to others. LOL.

On the other side of this particular problem, I am very much the primary caregiver for my mother. My Dad is still living but is not up to much in terms of daily caregiving or daily chores in the house. At this time last year, Mom took a serious turn for the worse, which thankfully was rectified and was a comparatively "easy" fix. But that memory shadows my thoughts right now, as that downhill slide took place at this time of year last year. Caregiving is interesting. You always think you can do more and should be doing more. But it is also exhausting. There come times when you say, "I just don't care anymore. Do whatever you want... " and then there are times of deep love. these are the people I really care about and who care about me very deeply. it is a precarious time in so many ways, but also a valuable time.

Prayers always appreciated. All is well, or will be well. Progress is being made on some projects in the house, and that is always a good thing.
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    491 days ago
    Oh Kim! Yes indeed, care giving is very tough. I've been there myself as my partner had MS. Is there a way you can carve an hour a day out just for you? If not, start small. 15 minutes. If you don't take care of yourself first, you'll get completely exhausted and have little left for your mom and dad.

    Good on you for recognizing all of this and putting it out there. I SO enjoy your presence in our ThanksGiving community. Take good care.

    518 days ago
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    Caregiving is so hard, and yo have to make sure that you take caere of yourself in the midst of it.

    SAD is even harder, I think, because there's nothing rewarding about it. Awareness is half the battle.

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    518 days ago
    Praying for you & your parents. Cherish the moments as you care for them. The moments I cared for my parents & mother in law in their last days bring me comfort even now. God bless you...
    519 days ago
    Kim, you have my prayers. I have been through what you are going through with caregiving and it is very challenging even under the best circumstances.

    I also have SAD, though not as bad as I used to have it, so I.know what you mean. I have a SAD light now and they are great. While others are celebrating Fall it is less than exciting for me. Less daylight. Shorter days. Watching all the vegetation die and warm weather animals leave. Followed by winter which is my least favorite season. I try to stay busy. Have short term goals.

    We are here for you if you need to talk. Sending a hug.
    519 days ago
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    520 days ago
    You are a good daughter
    520 days ago
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