Why Did I Stop?
Thursday, August 15, 2019
When I joined SP 11 years ago, I tried to get on the elliptical machine and I could not get past 5 minutes without feeling like I was going to collapse. 4 years ago, I joined a fitness group where the instructor pushed me each day to push through that 5 minute mark. By the end of the week, I was still struggling, but I was able to do a 30 minute workout on the elliptical.
It has been a few months since I have been on the elliptical, but I'm willing to bet that I can push through past 5 minutes. I may not have the endurance I had for the 30 minutes, but I definitely know I can push through the 5 minutes now. Why? Because I've done it before.
The last time I worked out, there was still snow on the ground, and I decided to go easy on myself and just use the treadmill. I did a steady 3 minute mile on an incline. I actually felt great, but I did have to keep telling myself to push through the next 5 minutes until I finished a full 30 minute workout, because it had been awhile since I had worked out before then. But I did it. I pushed through to finish my goal of 30 minutes, and I survived.
My only problem is that I didn't go back. I don't understand why I don't go back? It is like the day I swam for 15 minutes in the pool at my old gym. Why did I stop? Why did I not go back? I don't understand why I give up so easily. I need to find out what it is in my mindset that is causing me to successfully work through a solid workout, but then not follow through on the next workout. There needs to be consistency.
I've had consistency before. I used to be at the gym 3 days each week for aqua fit. I used to be at the gym early in the morning so I could snag an elliptical before anyone else arrived. I used to be in beast mode when it came to getting fit, and I did attain my goal weight. But here I am, over 100 lbs from my goal weight, and I can't find the consistency again.
What happened? Where did I go wrong? What is the mental block keeping me from doing it? It is time to go on a self awareness journey to find that answer. And I don't think it will be an easy one to find.