Wednesday, August 07, 2019
I read again and again that I need goals. Some advocate measurable goals, things that can be done, and can be measured, and you can chart progress toward, or, at least, attainment of such goals. Others advocate finding a goal you are passionate about; something that will drive you to action and, hopefully, success. But even without total attainment, a journey worth the effort that is its own reward.
I can't find goals of either sort. I can make up measurable goals. But they're boring and, if no one but myself cares whether I accomplish them, then they seem shallow and not worth any effort.
As for passionate goals - after world peace and good health and safety for all children, I come up short on things to do. And even for such worthy goals as world peace, no sense of an effort that will actually bring the goal closer.
This leaves me with lots of empty time to do things of no importance at all - like gardening, household maintenance (minor - not critical stuff), reading about interesting things, taking naps.
I guess my goals were often provided me by my work environment. Even when I was the guy in charge, locally, the goals of the entire organization were obvious and my ability to contribute was also obvious. No longer the case. No organizational goals and no particular reward for reaching any goal at all.
Rewards. What might they be? In the past, promotion or budget might have been incentives. Anything promoting an endorphin storm might have been, might yet be, a strong reward. But right now it's hard to think of anything actually worth doing. I'm not saying that doing certain kinds of things is not worthwhile. Doing some sorts of things could and can be a social goods. But I can say I'm not excited, drawn, or passionate about anything out there.
So, my advice to me, "keep searching."