Not this Semester babygirl. but why Daddy (God)?
Thursday, August 01, 2019
I just want to scream "but Daddy why!" at God. I was really upset last night that I couldn't pay for my college classes due to the fact that my husbands boss is holding out on him. Never, never, never expect all of your money if you decide to take a job that pays under the table. I was really looking forward to working a full-time job and going to school four days a week. We had the money but then realized that the school would want another payment two weeks from now. We could not make ends meet with what we had. By the way SO boss owes him nearly 1K in work already done.
So I'm sitting here ashamed at how angry I got at my SO boss. I know that I am a hot head and I need to learn how to curb my emotions if I'm going to work with the public. It takes a lot to get me angry but I blow up when I do. Week after week I have been dealing with the stress of how am I going to pay our bills. If my SO took care of them then we would be homeless and seriously in debt to creditors. I know that I should let God handle the situation and not curse the man. I have no idea why he can't pay us the full amount. For all I know his sales could be bad or a family member could be sick, but don't like to my family about it.
I have to remember that everything happens for a reason. Maybe God wants me to prove myself at work. Perhaps he wants me to improve my credit. Perhaps he wants me to lose more weight so that I'll emotionally feel comfortable at school. I have no idea why but I know that he is saying "not now". So I will be a patient little girl and ask again next semester.