CROUCHINGFLEA
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Health/SSgt/Goal Slaying

Monday, July 29, 2019



When I was a SrA (Senior Airman,E4) working in the Air Force in the HAWC (Health And Wellness Center), I had the most amazing supervisor and friend. She was determined that I would get my next stripe, SSgt (Staff Sergeant, E5) on my first try (you have to test for it). So, she bought me the above cup, with the SSgt stripe on one side and the AF symbol on the other, and that was the only cup I was allowed to drink coffee from at work. I got a lot of raised eyebrows, and had to explain a lot why I was a SrA drinking from a SSgt cup, and got a lot of laughs (I worked front desk, so I met a LOT of people). But, with her help, and the daily reminder from this cup of what was expected of me, and how proud MSgt (Master Sergeant) Hunt was of me, I didn't want to let her, or my Captain, or myself down. We were a small office and were all friends, more like family (they were part of the few people I invited to my small wedding!) and they motivated me to do so much more than a mere SrA could have done. I was one lucky gal to have worked in that office with those amazing people for 4 years. And you know what? I made it. I wasn't in the top listed, but I did get it (I never did well with the AF tests, the way they were set up , but I usually at least passed). That is how I met my husband, they had to send me to Airman Leadership School before I got my stripe pinned on. And they threw me a party. It was amazing having my team rooting for me. So now this cup reminds me that if I keep reaching and trying, I can and will reach my goals. And this was the cup that I grabbed this morning, while thinking about how far off my goals feel today. So, for my reminder for my goals that I want to reach now, I want to get a shirt from a youtube channel that I watch called The Frey Life that says "Do What You Think You Can't Do"

So now, I've talked to several people about my new goal, one that my BIL first came up with, and DH and I were kicking around ideas for it, and I at first thought we were just daydreaming and joking, but then I realized that not only was he serious, I kinda was too! It's not exactly the direction I wanted to head in, but it will help kickstart my goal of having my own online sewing shop, and possibly years down the road, my own boutique... for dogs!! It will help me to hone my skills as a sewist (I heard that term and like it a lot better than sew-er which is spelled like sewer, but I guess I could just say seamstress... but I like sewist since hearing it, LOL). A portion of the proceeds from every sell I make will go towards making items for people with illnesses like cancer who need specialty items for ports and tubes and bags, and when I get better at sewing, specialty clothing for people with disabilities. Hopefully the proceeds can make these items free for me to donate to cancer patients and such. Another person suggested that a portion go towards things for the animal shelter of my choice as well. Good idea, but I don't want to give away all of my profits, since it is a business, and I need to build up a savings if I'm going to be working toward getting an actual space for a boutique. But I'm not going to discount the idea altogether. I do like the idea of helping animal shelters too. And it will appeal to the people who buy dog clothes. Not sure if I want to or am going to be able to open an actual boutique with my health the way it is, but it would be neat. I've got to get the okay from my psychiatrist, and when I finally get in with him, my new neurologist. I can't work without their okay, I'm still disabled, and I can't drive. Which is why we are starting with an online store. I have to get in contact with disability and see if I'm even legally able to do that... I'm allowed to try to have a part time job, with their approval, but I don't know all the info I need to know about it, and how to go about it and keep my disability. Without it, I would not have Medicare, and without that my doctor bills would be too high. So it may just become a past time, not an actual job, but I am hoping a part time job will be doable.

I'm so stiff and sore!! Must do a lot of stretching today, and even though I'm not supposed to because of possible seizure, a hot bath that I will stretch while in and hopefully pick up some epsom salts to put in it for my aching muscles!! Last Thursday, we decided to not only walk to the breakfast place down the road, but then on to the grocery store and the Dollar tree, to get some fresh freggies and some school supplies!! I got in over 10K steps that day, but did not stretch enough, so I ache!! But that is one of the things I want to start doing. I finally found my DD214 (form showing I was in the military, my medals and that I was honorably discharged) so I can get my veterans driver's license, then get my new Library card for the new county we are in. It is in walking distance too. I want to get out and walk more. I need a good backpack to bring the books home in! And I want a grocery backpack (it keeps things cold). It was so nice when we did do that walk. The walk from the store to home was difficult, we bought more supplies at the store than I thought we were going to for school supplies, and that walk home felt like it took forever!!

My head pain is frustrating, it is a little better in the morning usually, but worsens as the day goes by till it hurts so much it is hard to think and yesterday was awful, I could not think, I could not sleep, nothing helped. And the kind of meds they have me on I can only take 4 a week and so many hours/days apart. After that I pretty much left with no options but to just be in pain.

This week is going to be a LONG week! Today we are going clothes shopping with Aunt G driving us. Her driving has been scaring me more and more of late, she keeps crossing the lines or nearly running people over and blaming them. She is so difficult to be around. But I need the help, since I can't drive. DH does not want me around her because she can be so difficult be be around and it usually takes me a while to recover emotionally after being around her because I have to be on alert to make sure I intervene if she says something she should not to the kids or something rude. She does not mean to, she just doesn't think, or have a mental filter. But I'm grateful for the help. Tuesday is my CT scans on my brain, the girls get their hair cuts and then we go get whatever other school supplies and clothes they need. Wednesday is open house at the school. In the morning the new Middle Schooler's get to go through a run of their day, meet their teachers, find where their classes are at and get their locker and locker combination and figure out how to use it and get it open, so that first day of school they know what they are doing. 7th Graders get their schedules and their lockers and such but I don't think they do an actual run through of their day, I think they just get to walk around on their own and figure out where all their classe will be. Thursday we will get anything we forgot and probably go grocery shopping to get school lunch supplies, and take the day to get everything ready for school and relax, probably chill in the basement and watch the movies I've been wanting to watch with the girls all summer!! Have a pamper day and take long baths and face masks and all that jazz. And then Friday is the first day of school!! This is the first year they will be taking the bus to school in the mornings. Last year they took it home after I started having seizures, and now DH needs to get to the office earlier, so school bus it is! I want to get them small flashlights, since it will still be dark in the mornings, and small umbrellas to fit in their backpacks for rainy days. I would just pick them up if it was raining, but we didn't think to occasionally start my car, so the battery is dead it has not been started in so long. And I'm not supposed to drive even a little bit, so there is that too.

Aunt G is trying to insist that she take me to my neurology appointment. I have had to stand my ground that my husband is taking me because he knows more of what is going on and will be a better help to me. The one time I let her go to an appointment with me, she went back with me and then tried to make the appointment about her!! Love her, but man, she can be something else!! But she thinks that since she has a friend that has epilepsy that she will be a better help to me than my DH. I disagree. I know she just wants to be involved and help, but no. Not this time.

So, since the schedule this week is so crazy, it kinda puts things on hold for me. We are going to get what cleaning done that we can and also try to relax in between, while we can before school starts. I am waking the kids up earlier, but not school early, so they are a little more accustomed to waking earlier and won't be zombies on the morning of the first day of school!

Speaking of, there goes my alarm to wake them! My goal is to get up 15 to 20 minutes before them, have my morning tea (goodbye coffee!) and then wake them and help them through their morning, making sure they are on time, and not falling back asleep. I will be getting ODD an alarm and have it set to like a minute or two after I wake her, she has a tendency to ignore me and go back to sleep. We will have breakfast together in the mornings, pray together, and read a short morning devotional together before school. They have a morning and before bed checklist and I'm working on an after school checklist as well. It does not have to be perfect I just don't want us to forget anything, like practicing instruments or going over homework and things like that. Plus we work out a schedule for the week on Sunday's (Planning Day) and decide who is going to bake or cook on what day, each kid gets an hour of just me and them time once per week at least. We plan a game night and a movie night and try to schedule a family night out at least once a quarter.

Hope you have a great Monday!!

~Flea
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