"Don't wait for things to get easier, simpler or better. Life will always be complicated. Learn to be happy right now. Otherwise, you'll run out of time."
"That's not the crime scene tape, Mitch." (Tape says 'bake sale'.)
An avid duck hunter was in the market for a new bird dog. His search ended when he found a dog that could actually walk on water to retrieve a duck. Shocked by his find, he was sure none of his friends would ever believe him.
He decided to try to break the news to a friend of his, the eternal pessimist who refused to be impressed with anything. This, surely, would impress him. He invited him to hunt with him and his new dog.
As they waited by the shore, a flock of ducks flew by. they fired, and a duck fell. The dog responded and jumped into the water. The dog, however, did not sink but instead walked across the water to retrieve the bird, never getting more than his paws wet. This continued all day long; each time a duck fell, the dog walked across the surface of the water to retrieve it.
The pessimist watched carefully, saw everything, but did not say a single word.
On the drive home the hunter asked his friend, “Did you notice anything unusual about my new dog?”
“I sure did,” responded the pessimist. “He can’t swim.”
What's up, doc? We heard that phrase for the first time in 1940 when Elmer Fudd met "that pesky wabbit" Bugs Bunny in "A Wild Hare". And we haven't been the same since.
--Bagpipe Appreciation Day: though associated with the Scottish Highlands, bagpipes were invented in the Middle East by sheep and goat herders; made from skin, bones and reeds, bagpipes evolved through ancient Egypt and Rome to be brought to the Scottish islands by the invading Romans.
--National Crème Brulee Day: a yummy treat of vanilla custard with a brittle crust of caramelized sugar.
--National Scotch (Whisky) Day: a salute to the aged whisky distilled from malted barley according to specific rules that define it as a scotch; to be scotch, it must be distilled in Scotland, made with specific grains and aged in oak barrels; records show the Babylonians of Mesopotamia made a similar liquor but not aged as long; as to the difference between whisky and whiskey, whiskey is for liquors distilled in the United States, so you'll never see a genuine scotch called scotch whiskey.
--National Drowning Prevention Day: observed in Canada, part of Drowning Prevention Week for raising awareness of steps to prevent drownings.
--National Korean War Veterans Armistice Day: commemorates the signing of the 1953 Armistice that stopped the hostilities of the Korean War and established the DMZ border between North and South Korea.
--National Day of the American Cowboy: a tip of the hat to rich history of the American cowboy and his contribution to American history; the cowboys are noted for following the Code of the West.
--Walk on Stilts Day: a salute to an ancient performing art; stilts were prevalent in 6th century Landes, France which was a marshy area where people got around on stilts; stilts are used in some construction areas such as drywall.
--Paddle for Perthes Disease Awareness Day: an annual event to raise awareness of this childhood disease that affects the head of the femur, thigh bone.
--Take Your Pants for a Walk Day: a fun way to get us outside for a walk, maybe even where we wouldn't walk in shorts or a dress.
--Gary Gygax Day: a day to honor the birthday of the co-creator of 'Dungeons and Dragons', 1938.
--Take Your Houseplant for a Walk Day: a fun way to get you to consider the needs of your houseplants; do they need to be repotted, moved to a different location, or some pruning.
--Barbie-in-a-blender Day: a day created by the Freeculture.org which promotes public interest in intellectual property and telecommunication policies; title is in reference to an artist challenged by Mattel over his subject matter.
--National Sleepy Head Day: observed in Finland; traditionally on this day, the last person in the house to wake up is woken up using water, either by being thrown into a lake or the sea, or by having water thrown on them; In the city of Naantali, a Finnish celebrity is chosen every year to be thrown in the sea from the city's port at 7 a.m. The identity of the sleeper is kept secret until the event. People who are chosen have usually done something to the benefit of the city.
-- Feast of Lanterns Day: 2-day celebration; California's Feast of Lanterns is an annual celebration of the legend of the Blue Willow, a fabricated "Chinese" story. However, in Pacific Grove's version of the story, the fleeing couple turns into Monarch Butterflies (because Pacific Grove likes to be known as "Butterfly Town, USA"), as opposed to birds, to flee the evil Mandarin. The Feast of Lanterns skit is performed on the last Saturday of every July, and the small town of Pacific Grove crams onto Lover's Point Beach to watch the show. In support of the town-wide holiday, lanterns can be seen hanging on the porches of many local homes. Lantern soup and lantern pie are delicious delicacies to be found exclusively at the "Feast of Lanterns." The afternoon preceding the Feast of Lanterns, the city holds its annual Pet Parade, which circles its main street, Lighthouse Avenue. The Feast of Lanterns holiday ends with fireworks over Lover's Point Beach, and Queen Topaz and her peasant lover, Chang, escaping safely together.
--Norfolk Day: a day celebrated in the UK to honor the history and culture of the Norfolk area.
--National Chicken Finger Day: no info as to why today or info as to how chicken fingers are made; a salute to the nugget-sized pieces of chicken; what's your favorite dip with your chicken fingers?