I no longer water dead plants,Thanks SP friend for the term (day 6 of 31 day blog challenge)
Wednesday, July 24, 2019
A few Sundays back my BFF and I were texting about her latest flame. This text chat started after I saw that her Facebook status had changed to “In a Relationship”, and asked her about it. The conversation was about at an end, when I got distracted by my kids. Unfortunately, I never got back to the text thread. The BBF texted a day or so later, "What no input". I am guilty of seeing the text, but as I was in the middle of something, not responding. I then forgot to text back later on.
When Sunday rolled around, I sent the BFF my weekly checking in text, with an apology for no response. The BFF then accused me of being a fair weather friend; and responded with "lose my number". I text back asking if she was serious; to which the BFF then stated that I might as well pretend she was dead. Fallowed by a text saying, "I probably will be soon anyway".
My heart broke; I was filled with guilt for not being a better friend. Why hadn't I made texting her back a priority...I mean, we had been friends most of our lives. She is the person I have instructed my spouse to marry should something happen to me. Not for my hubby, but for my kids’ sake.
And then it dawned on me...
I was busy with my family both times I did not respond. And, I am the one that reached out to her EVERY Sunday, many times with no response from her! As well as the fact that I have friends that live less than a mile from me here that get less attention from me then she in Utah gets!
I love my BFF; we have been friends since middle school. She has been there for me in some really dark times. I believe that her heart is gold. But, our friendship has not always been easy. I'm no prize pig, but she has some issues. And to be honest, this not the first time she has cut me out of her life.
Now, I do not know this to be fact. But, I suspect that the BFF is angry with me because she wanted me to validate her relationship with this latest guy. I have never had interaction one with this guy. I don't know him from Adam. I don't know if he is generally a good man, or if he is good to her. I can say here… based on her past... I am doubtful. But, to her, not knowing this man or their relationship, all I can say to her is, "I hope he makes you happy, treats you well, and supports you in your times of need.
I really do want the very best for my BFF. Like I said, she has a pure heart. She has gone through some really tough times, and did not have the easiest childhood. She has given up her whole life for one younger sister and this sister’s kids. And she does so much for her mother, other younger sisters, and that sister’s kids. I feel like they take advantage of her. I feel like life has taken advantage of her…
And this is where I am going to sound petty. I am sorry that I have my own life. I am sorry, that I managed to find a flawed man and build a life together. I am sorry, that I chose to get away from the dysfunctional members of my own family. I am forty-three years old, with four kids and a husband (I have made dependent upon me). I have six pets, four cars, and a house to take care of. I have adult friendships, as well as healthy interactions with acquaintances. Yeah, I could definitely be a better friend to ALL my friends. But, I do not have the energy to waste on childish people.
I will always love my BFF and when she comes back around, I will be here for her. But, she needs to stay on her meds, make a life of her own, place limits to protect her from the people that would take advantage of her. And, at forty-three…She needs to know that it is healthier to be alone, then to be with the wrong man.