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Monday - baby steps into the land of the living today

Tuesday, July 23, 2019

Today was a day of firsts since surgery. First time I saw my wound and the 20-30 staples running along my leg. First time I was allowed to shower since the surgery - boy did that feel great! First time since I came home I have put on public clothes - not just a comfy nightgown. By the time I did that, I was worn out. . . . BUT, I wasn't done yet!

The next adventure was a drive in the car to go for PT. It was not horrible but it was tiring. I thought PT would be 30 minutes, it actually was 90 minutes. It was long and challenging but also felt great because it included time on the TENS unit, massage, icing, in addition to the exercises.

After PT, I went out to lunch with Ed and my best friend Dottie and her mother Mary who is also a friend. I asked for an extra chair to rest my leg on while we ate. It was fun, but by the time I was home, I was exhausted and it was almost 4:00 p.m.

Ed went off to the County Fair, where he was working in the kitchen all evening. He enjoyed himself was he was tired out - made and sold about 500 country ham

While he was out, I napped and was awakened by a call from my stepbrother who I haven't spoken to in ages since he moved away 5 years ago. Ed and I had been helping him, visiting and running errands while he was going through his first serious bout with colon cancer. He was relying on us to do much that he couldn't do for himself. Then suddenly, he left and moved across the country without even telling us goodbye. It was very weird and while we had no animosity towards him, we were a bit hurt and confused by his actions. I mean Ed was driving him to doctors appointments a couple of times a week that meant an hour's drive to pick him up, an hour and a half drive to the appointments and then an hour wait before the 2 and a half hour return trip. Ed asked nothing of him and while about once a week he got $10 for gas, he was spending far more than that each time he helped him out, yet he couldn't even say goodbye when he left. Well he called and after 5 years wants Ed to drive an hour each way, clean out his truck, get his tools and stuff and then presumably ship the stuff to him. He'll let Ed have a ten year old tv if he does it. I feel like it is pretty presumptuous to expect this when he hasn't kept in touch for five years, and wasn't even grateful for what we did before he moved away. We bent over backwards for him - not because we were close - but because despite the tenuous relationship connection, that's what family does. He became my stepbrother when his mother and my father got married when we were already in our late 50s, so it wasn't like we were raised together or anything. I didn't even meet him until about six years ago when he moved in with my stepmother. Am I crazy or is this a lot to expect under the circumstances? Maybe I am a bit annoyed because he never even asked how we are before cutting straight to the request for this rather large favor.

Anyhow, I told him that I would talk with Ed but that it would be at least a week before he would have a chance to even think about whether or not he can do it with all the other demands on his time.

Sorry for the venting. It was a long day and I am definitely ready for a good night's rest. I have to start my day tomorrow early with my CPM machine at 5:30 and then leaving the house for PT before 8:00 a.m.

Have a blessed and healthy day!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Glad to hear you are recovering well.As for the Step Brother,no comment,that will be you and your Sons
    choice to help or not.Enjoy your day! emoticon emoticon emoticon
    23 days ago
    I am happy that you are starting on the road to recovery.
    Your step brother seems like a user. Talk to your son and if he wants to do it that's fine. Tell your step brother that he has to send X amount of $$ for gas plus pay for shipping. I don't think that shipping tools will be cheap. (That's if you decide to do it)
    Otherwise you can tell him all you are going through right now and it might be quite awhile before you can even get over there. Maybe he should see if he can get someone else to do it this time.
    Of course these are just suggestions.
    Back to you now.... Please take care of YOURSELF and don't worry about things until you get better.
    emoticon emoticon
    24 days ago
    It amazes me how different doctors treat the same situation. I had a total knee replacement and my scar (barely visible) is about 8 inches long. There were never any visible sutures or staples. Although I had to wrap my knee in saran wrap, I showered the day I came home from the hospital. Shorts and a tee shirt were worn when there was an assisted hallway walk, 3 or 4 times a day, during my 3 day hospital stay. I was told to not drive for 6 weeks after surgery. PT was about the same time and same routine, 3 times a week, plus there were exercises to be done at home.

    We have a family member very similar to the step-brother you describe. She has behaved that way since she was a child. It's difficult to say no at times, but she expects the whole world to stop in order to have her needs met. Our family learned many years ago that she takes and takes, but gives nothing in return. It's sad for her because she has missed so many good things in life.

    You've had a busy day. Rest and recuperate! emoticon emoticon
    24 days ago
    All good firsts for you Nancy. emoticon

    This brotherinlaw thing, If it were me, "I'd say no, we can not help at this time.". You are worth it! You are healing and added stress is not what you need. There - my two cents.
    25 days ago
    I'm glad you asked for a chair to put your leg up on and that you took a nap. It sounds like PT was very exhausting. You need a lot of TLC after surgery.

    Regarding you stepbrother... if there's someone else available to help him, let them. You took your turn. I have a feeling that you have such a kind heart, you might have trouble saying no.
    25 days ago
    it is great that you are doing so well
    I am sorry that your step brother has chosen to not stay in touch and I would not blame Ed if he said no that he could not do it after all the stuff may be gone after 5 years and Ed does not want to be blamed for taking anything

    have a great rest of your day and a better one tomorrow
    25 days ago
    Wow, that is VERY presumptuous on your step-brother's part. 'Nuff said!

    Sounds like you're doing well, and yes, rehab is tiring! But you're making progress. Good for you.

    25 days ago
    I am glad you were able to get out and about. I am sure it was very tiring. I do not think your step brother should be asking you to do anything. He sounds very rude.
    25 days ago
  • no profile photo GRAPEJAM2
    Thanks for sharing.
    25 days ago
    Good venting. Congratulations, with all those firsts, it was a huge step day...well done!! Enjoy your much anticipated night of sleep. Sweet dreams. Do you journal in the evening-if something is emotionally leftover from your day? Spark article abo
    25 days ago
    Oh Boy, when my hubby was in the hospital for surgery, it was like heaven to finally take a shower. Have a blessed week
    25 days ago
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