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I am not defined by a number on the scale...

Monday, July 22, 2019

For me this journey to a healthier life is not just about diet and exercise. It’s rounded out by becoming healthier mentally, emotionally, and spiritually as well. It’s about living my most authentic life, and understanding my motivations for why I do the things I do... whether they’re healthy or self destructive. (And I do both from time to time.) I make certain that I read daily, and write something, whether it’s my blog here, or in my journal... or both. I have been looking at language sites, with the inspiration of my friend, Cheri, who speaks a gazillion languages, and is constantly teaching herself new ones. Keeping my brain healthy and limber is important. I go to DBT group, and am learning to name and deal with my emotions and their causes and consequences in a healthier manner. And I meditate and pray regularly. Not everyone believes in prayer (or the benefits of meditation)... for me it’s an integral piece of my spiritual life (but to each their own). And taking into account each of these components of my life and the steps I am taking to grow and get healthier in all areas I feel like I am doing well despite my weight going up a little. (I have left “normal” weight and gone back to the “overweight” category...). I am not defined by a number on the scale. The scale can’t tell if I am more compassionate, more empathetic, a better friend/sister/daughter/aunt, or more present in my own life and the lives of others. It can’t begin to describe the impact of my life experiences, or the importance of my past and present to my future. It also cannot describe my sense of humor (slightly macabre), my fashion sense (comfortable and eclectic), my taste in music (wide ranging and also eclectic), or my ability to write coherently. What the scale measures is a single metric of my physical reality. I find that if I don’t judge myself by that number, or allow it to influence my emotional, or mental state on any given day... that I am happier, and more willing to learn and grow, and most importantly to forgive (myself and others). The number on the scale is just that a number. I can work to change it as I feel will make me a healthier person, physically, and yes, success at weight loss has made me more confident about my chance of success in other arenas. But whether the scale goes up or down, I am worthy of love today, of friendships, of care and consideration. I am allowed to forgive and be forgiven. I am allowed to stretch and grow mentally, emotionally, spiritually and become a person who lives their life being present in the now and devouring all that that life has to offer (and what life doesn’t currently offer me, I can work to create in my life). The first step for me is accepting reality as it is right now, so that I can competently, honestly, and consistently work to affect that reality. (If I deny reality then I can never move beyond my current situation, because I don’t what or how to act on my present to affect the changes I want and/or need). But this is just my journey to my healthier self. The steps I have taken, and am currently taking to live my life in such a way that I can feel proud of who I am today. Each of us has our own expectations and desires for this journey. I encourage all of us to explore and define what makes up our healthiest life. Though I definitely recommend looking beyond the scale for self worth and love. We are worthy of love and as we are in this moment... no matter what the scale says. Wherever you are in the world I hope you have a marvelous day!! It’s Monday, a new week full of possibilities and chances...
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