100-249 SparkPoints 184

Clowns to the Left. Jokers to the right.

Thursday, July 18, 2019

I will admit I can be a little jaded and cynical. I try label myself a realist. I am not Little Mary Sunshine nor The Princess of Darkness. My life experience has brought me to this position. My home life? Too much detail to go into but just a brief summary. Husband on dialysis three days a week. My daughter is adopted. Her childhood is of pure nightmares until she came to me. Now we are dealing with the aftermath. I do love my family don't get me wrong. It's not all gloom and doom. We have been dealt a hard hand. My job? Ha! Such a hot mess. My boss drinks to much wine and is wacked out for most of the day and my owner is like the boss in the movie The Devil Wears Prada. He asks for the impossible. Also, I deal with all kinds of crazy people So I go from B.S. situation to B.S. situation with sometimes no end in sight. I don't know how I stay strong. Its super tough. Some days I can't keep it together and break down. Today was one of those days. Sat in the office crying. Then I had to walk into the maintenance office and cried there. I left work and went " resort." Which is what I call the YMCA. I worked out, swam, and sat in the hot tub. My reward for a craptastic day. I didn't drive to KFC like I wanted to. Man those Cinnabon biscuits sound good! I ate a banana a few nuts an a couple of 100 cal. granola things. I do try to find a bright spot even when things seem awful. Trying not to be soo jaded and cynical. On the flip side I try not to be so Mary Poppins either. So I guess my blog is a lot like me. Stuck in the middle and I am ok with that. Self-copassion
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Looks like we both blog ranted yesterday. Although I feel bad for whining about my issues after reading how much you are dealing with. You are a hero for rescuing your daughter and for helping your husband with the dialysis treatments. And your work environment!?! That just sounds crazy! Glad you have your "resort" to help you work through all of it! This Sparkpeople community is a great place to find support and encouragement! Hope you have a good weekend!
    140 days ago
    Hang in there!!
    140 days ago
    Keep journaling, loud and clear...WTG!
    140 days ago
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