"Just because you're taking longer than others does not mean you're a failure. Keep going."
"At the end of the day I wish life would ask us, 'do you want to save the changes?'"
At the end of the tax year, the IRS office sent an inspector to audit the books of a local hospital. While the IRS agent was checking the books he turned to the CFO of the hospital and said, “I notice you buy a lot of bandages. What do you do with the end of the roll when there’s too little left to be of any use?”
”Good question,” noted the CFO. “We save them up and send them back to the bandage company and every now and then they send us a free box of bandages.”
“Oh,” replied the auditor, somewhat disappointed that his unusual question had a practical answer. But on he went, in his obnoxious way.
“What about all these plaster purchases? What do you do with what’s left over after setting a cast on a patient?”
“Ah, yes,” replied the CFO, realizing that the inspector was trying to trap him with an unanswerable question. “We save it and send it back to the manufacturer, and every now and then they send us a free package of plaster.”
“I see,” replied the auditor, thinking hard about how he could fluster the know-it-all CFO. “Well,” he went on, “What do you do with all the leftover foreskins from the circumcisions you perform?”
“Here, too, we do not waste,” answered the CFO.
“What we do is save all the little foreskins and send them to the IRS Office, and about once a year they send us a complete d**k.”
It's Emoji Day! A picture for a word, these little characters have become an indelible part of our communications. I do have to think about it; like learning a new language. Today was chosen because the majority of the calendar emojis show July 17.
--National Hot Day : a picnic and BBQ staple, no real history other than the hot dog is similar to the frankfurter from Germany and the weiner from Austria; not a healthy food, so keep them to a minimum.
--National Peach Ice Cream Day: not a lot of info but who needs it; I'll get my bowl.
--National Tattoo Day: a tattoo is created by permanent marks made by adding pigment to ruptures in the skin, i.e. a needle; tattoos have had a myriad of meanings throughout history and many cultures; nowadays, they're mainly for decoration but they can establish status, religious importance, and has been used as identification in prisons and concentration camps.
--Take Your Poet to Work Day: the idea of today is to take to work the writings of your favorite poet to share with your coworkers; maybe discuss the merits over lunch.
--Wrong Way Corrigan Day: today commemorates when Corrigan who, after flying from Long Beach, CA to New York City in 1938, meant to fly back to Long Beach. However, due to navigation errors, cloud cover and other issues, Corrigan landed in Dublin, Ireland.
--Yellow Pigs Day: today has nothing to do with pigs but rather the number 17; in the 1960's, 2 math students were expounding on the number 17 and established this day as celebration; as for the yellow pigs, it seems that yellow pigs are a big deal to mathematicians, no explanation why.
--National Lottery Day: commemorates when the Massachusetts State Lottery founded National Lottery Day in 2018 to provide consumers with a day of special promotions for lottery products. Since selling their first ticket 1972, the Massachusetts State Lottery has been an essential source of unrestricted local aid in the Commonwealth.
--World Day for International Justice: today commemorates the day when the Roman Statute was enacted in 1998, establishing the International Criminal Court which handles war crimes.
--In 1955, Disneyland opened its doors in Anaheim, CA.