laziness VS fatigue

You know what they say.. listen to yourself, listen to your body it’ll tell you what it needs! Well, if you’re anything like me, sometimes the body is confused too.

Tonight i debated for a long while wether i should be going on a walk or stay chilling in front of the tv. Am i lazy? or really tired? On paper i know i sleep enough hours pretty much every night now, i have an office job and i don’t really spend too many calories during my work shift, often even the opposite, oops. I used to go on a walk every night for a hour for the last decade.. but at some point after my separation/depression, i slowed down and eventually fully stopped. Yeah. So now i am overweight and unwell about it, i want to work it but i can’t imagine myself moving my body ever again. I know you have to start and keep at it and that’s the only way.. and i will! but tonight was hard, and the nights for the last couple weeks, months, year were hard.

When you have some time and the weather is nice and you think that on paper you’re good to go but you’re feeling sooo blah! what do you do? I find it hard to go just by feeling.. you can be lazy AND tired, you can be tired but you do more and more and more because a lot is asked of you or you use it as escapism! denial! lol! sometimes you’re not lazy and just plain exhausted.

That’s what was on my mind tonight. I didn’t go for a walk :/ I do feel tired even though i slept last night and didn’t spend too much energy at my office job, maybe i am a little lazy but maybe im trying to make excuses instead of just resting, like my body seems to be asking for. I feel guilty for not exercising, but I find it’s a good sign that i’m starting to *think* about walks again. I’ll try to find articles on that subject tomorrow.