CROUCHINGFLEA
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Vacation/Do It Scared

Tuesday, July 09, 2019

So many people will accept misery over uncertainty. I was listening to Do It Scared podcast #2 (still listening to it, had to stop and write that tidbit down) when the guest speaker said this. And it is so true!! It has taken me so long, on so many things, to let go because of uncertainty even though I was miserable.

Wonderful quote from the podcast, "No one else knows what they are doing either." Said by Ruth's guest. And it is so true! Some people are just better at faking it and making it seem like they know what they are doing. Parenting is a good example, but so is life in general. There is no manuel, no instructions, we just do what we can. I think the closest we have to an instruction manual is the Bible.

Vacation so far has been a mixed bag. We went to a tourist trap place that was loud and had constant blinking and strobing lights, and a warning at the entrance for people who had seizures. Well, I'm pretty sure I had a few. I nearly passed out going through the entrance, a vortex tunnel. I had all the aftereffects I normally have after having a seizure. It was overall a horrible experience for me, but the kids had fun, for the most part, so it was worth it. I was so exhausted by the time we left. The kids got to get in the hot tub last night too and had a blast, but ODD was coughing early this morning, so I had to go ahead and get her up so she wouldn't wake the whole cabin. The walls and floors seem to be paper thin, you can hear everything.

The tourist trap town is exactly what I thought it would be, a tourist trap. I dislike places like this as they attract the worst kind of people. I like the cabin, and the view. I could just lounge about this place and be perfectly content. That probably won't happen. DH elaborated on MIL's 'temper tantrums' that have been known to last for years if she does not get her way, which is why they all gave in to this vacation. I'm sorry, I'm not going to let this happen again. I'm enjoying some parts, but I'm not going to be dragged into places that endanger my health again.

Today, I think we are going out for breakfast, so hopefully ODD will be out of her shower soon so I can go take mine. I don't think I'll be able to stick very Paleo, but I can try my best. DH was nice enough to get me some yogurt and other things I need for if there is something that someone cooks that I just can't have. A lot of the treats have been hard to resist. I had some chocolate cake last night that MIL makes from scratch. I ate a few bites out of kindness, didn't want to be rude, but that was the most bland chocolate cake I have ever had. That is a good way to get me to not eat the sweets!!

Hoping for a better day today.

Take care and have a great week, just in case I'm not able to get back on!!

~Flea
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