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07/08/19 Adds Up

Monday, July 08, 2019



"Success isn't overnight. It's when everyday you get a little better than the day before. It all adds up." Dwayne Johnson



The correct way to weigh yourself: "I can't believe I've been doing it wrong all these years!"



A man staggers into an emergency room with two black eyes and a five iron wrapped tightly around his throat. Naturally the doctor asks him what happened.

“Well, it was like this,” said the man. “I was having a quiet round of golf with my wife when she sliced her ball into a pasture of cows. We went to look for it and while I was rooting around, I noticed one of the cows had something white at its rear end. I walked over and lifted up the tail and sure enough, there was my wife’s golf ball… stuck right in the middle of the cow’s butt. That’s when I made my mistake.”

“What did you do?”, asks the doctor.

Well, I lifted the tail and yelled to my wife,

“Hey, this looks like yours!”

dailyjokes.com



It's SCUD Day! Savor the Comic, Unplug the Drama! It's a day to remind us to step away from others' drama and enjoy the simple joys around us.
--Be a Kid Again Day: today dovetails perfectly with SCUD; for today, look at the world as through the eyes of a child; see the wonder and newness; let your guard down and be a little silly, to go with the flow.
--International Town Criers Day: criers have been announcing edicts and wars, proclamations and peace since the ancient Greeks; in Medieval England, the criers would yell "oyez, oyez" meaning listen; also, the criers were protected because sometimes they did announce bad news such as tax increases; it's from this relationship we have the phrase "Don't shoot the messenger".
--Math 2.0 Day: a salute to math and technology; today stresses the importance of math literacy and education as all our innovations have involved complex math equations; I remember as a teen being told there was no future in math; today's technology has proven that old tale so wrong!
--National Milk Chocolate with Almonds Day: yesterday was Chocolate Day, so today we salute one of the variations; milk chocolate contains 10% chocolate liquor, 3.7% milk fats and 12% milk solids; the almonds are an afterthought.
--National Ice Cream Sundae Day: yesterday we had Strawberry Ice Cream Sundae, so today salutes the treat and all of its variations; there are several origin stories but the one thing they do agree is the day of the week, Sunday, influenced the naming of the treat, often because it was only offered on Sundays.
--National Video Game Day: not to be confused with National Video GameS Day in September; from NationalToday: Primarily used for recreational purposes (although professional gaming leagues do, in fact, exist), video games have exploded in popularity over the last few decades. They’re exciting, invigorating, and most importantly — not just for kids. The very first video game ever invented involved simple table tennis. Today, there are over five million games in existence. From high-speed racing adventures to perilous virtual dueling matches, there’s a genre for everyone to enjoy.
--In 1947, (from Bing): Newspapers report the capture of a "flying saucer" at a ranch near the town of Roswell and question the US military's story about the crash of a weather balloon. In the 1990s the military will finally reveal that a top-secret nuclear test-monitoring balloon was recovered at the site.
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