Monday, July 08, 2019
I thought I would know one way or the other today, but I’ll get the results quite a bit later.
Even nasty experiences have very interesting lessons. I get all sorts of insights. When I’m preoccupied and maybe I ignore people or don’t react in an animated way, it reminds me not to be too sensitive to other people’s reaction to me. It’s probably not even me that’s on their mind.
I’ve realized how much doing a good job with caregiving has been a matter of luck with being strong and having good health rather than being virtuous.
I should have reacted in a more timely fashion to symptoms which were embarrassing, but I’m human with human weaknesses, which is the best thing to say to myself at this point since I can’t turn the clock back. I have to stop myself saying coulda shoulda, even though I coulda shoulda, because the only thing it will achieve is damaging my physical and mental health.
Fear comes in waves, especially when I’m not busy. I know that I can ride the wave quite soon and get back to contentment by determining to do so.
Anyway everything may be all right.
PS Less panicked today :-)