"Be strong but not rude. Be kind but not weak. Be humble, but not timid. Be proud but not arrogant."
By the time a plugger finds his "misplaced" hearing aid, his wife has forgotten what she was going to say.
Him: "OK, there. Now what were you saying?" Her: "Un..uh….shoot!"
Little Johnny had a cussing problem and his father was getting tired of it. He decided to ask his shrink what to do. The shrink said, “Since Christmas is coming up, you should ask Johnny what he wants Santa to bring him. If he cusses while he tells you his wish list, leave a pile of dog poop in place of the gift or gifts he requests.”
Two days before Christmas, Johnny’s father asked him what he wanted for Christmas. “I want a damn teddy-bear laying right beside me when I wake-up. When I go downstairs I want to see a damn train going around the damn tree. And when I go outside I want to see a damn bike leaning up against the damn garage.”
Christmas morning, Little Johnny woke up and rolled over into a pile of dog poop. Confused, he walked down stairs and saw another pile under the tree. Scratching his head, he walked outside and saw a huge pile of dog poop by the garage.
When Johnny walked back inside with a curious look on his face, his dad smiled and asked, “What did Santa bring you this year?”
Johnny replied,”I think I got a dog but I can’t find him”.
It's Global Forgiveness Day! Right up there with gratitude, forgiveness should be every day but it can be the hardest thing we do. But, to forgive, can release so much hurt and let us move forward to greater things.
--Chocolate Day: extracted from the cocoa bean, chocolate has been part of history for centuries since the Olmecs in 1900 BC, through the Aztec's xocolatl, "bitter water", the first US factory in 1780 and Hershey taking over the industry in the 1900's; so many variations to please many palates; just remember it's the true dark chocolate that's healthy.
--Father-Daughter Take A Walk Together Day: a day set aside for Dad to take Daughter for a walk in nature and to deepen the bond which I have seen in many others; it's worth the effort, Dads.
--National Build a Scarecrow Day: a salute to the effigy that is supposed to keep birds and animals away from our growing fields; sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.
--National Strawberry Sundae Day: a fun way to eat our summer harvest of strawberries.
--National Dive Bar Day: sponsored by Seagram's, date chosen by the 7&7 (it's a drink); a salute to an American institution that plays in many a movie and has lots of memories.
--National Macaroni Day: a salute to a versatile piece of pasta; the most favored version is mac&cheese but it's also used in salads and, in my childhood, an American variety of goulash; of course, it's also used in many a childhood art project.
--Tell the Truth Day: today encourages everyone to tell the truth, to remind us not to spread gossip and lies; can you do it all day?
--In 1981, Sandra O'Connor is the first woman appointed to the Supreme Court of the US.
--In 1938, sliced bread was sold for the first time by Missouri's Chillcothe Baking Company as Kleen Maid Sliced Bread.