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long march

Saturday, July 06, 2019

Sometimes it's really hard, having that rush of 'ok, I'm going to get healthy for real this time' and then looking at the blogs I have written over the years on here. Trying again. Trying not to get disheartened by previous failures again. I'm reading and listening to self help stuff, trying to figure out what to do with my feelings if I'm not eating them, and Brene Brown was just talking about hope, and how you can build hope by dealing with hard things, having a plan, being tenacious, being willing to fail and carry on anyway. Trying to treat it like that, like the swimming example she gives, that life and my own failure to follow through have been giving me thumbs downs, and I just need to do the thing, keep at it, and I'll get my thumbs up, the rush of success. It's not a sprint or a one-time-thing, I know that. I just need to do the healthy thing today, and then I need to also do the healthy thing tomorrow, over and over. Quotations about 'it doesn't matter what you say you value if what you do doesn't match that' have been smarting lately. Rambly journal. I just need to do the thing. And if I do the unhealthy thing instead, I need to face that I did it, and then do the healthy thing next.

I've read that you can't love anyone else more than you love yourself, which I'm reminded of because of a tangential thought: getting healthier is like love: you have to keep choosing that. Choose love, do love things, and love will grow and flourish. Choose health (which choice is arguably a facet of self love), do health things, and health will improve.

C'mon, self. March on, and on, and on.

(I still want to do another Tough Mudder, but apparently not enough to actually prepare for it, so this year is a no-go. Maybe if I journal workouts on here? because I don't like sharing much on facebook, and if it's just me and not really telling anybody else then it's hard to keep going. Gotta do the thing if I want to do the thing. C'mon self. Let's do some pushups or something.)
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    Keep on.pushing
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