CROUCHINGFLEA
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Happy Last Day of June!

Sunday, June 30, 2019



Had a good, yet strange day yesterday. I woke up in a good mood, wrote, what I thought was a great blog post, and then went thrift shopping with my kiddos and DH and out to eat. I realized that I was calm, at peace, not exactly happy, but content. I told DH about it. Yesterday was the first day in ages that I didn't have any anxiety. I had some towards the end of the day, but that was mainly because I had things around the house I wanted to get done, but was exhausted and falling asleep and had to go lay down. I felt bad for not working on my goal of getting the craft area clean and organized. But it felt so nice, yet so odd, to not have anxiety. I've lived with it for so long that it took me the whole morning to realize that was how I was feeling.

My migraine ended up getting bad enough that I needed to take something for it, and one of the meds I take when it gets that bad normally puts me to sleep, but it didn't.... till like two hours later, lol. It could have been because I just got my weighted blanket in the mail and we went ahead and put it on the bed right away. I discovered that I can't have it on my shoulders, it squishes them and makes them ache, so had to pull it down just enough to where my shoulders were free, then it helped immensely. It's super early, I may go crawl back in bed till my alarm goes off, it's so comfy. But I woke up wide awake, though now I'm starting to droop. I'll write more when I get up...

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So, it's much later in the day now, my head is still aching like mad. I didn't even stay for all of the first song during church, I had to go out to the car, the speakers were extra loud, and my head just hurt. Poor DH, some uncaring soul not only moved his coffee that was saving his seat, but knocked it over on the floor (it was a thermos and closed, so no spill). And, it was unusually crowded, so he ended up sitting on the floor, I don't know why no one offered to get him a chair, they have people that are supposed to be looking for people who need seats. And he plays in the worship team so he had to be on his feet the rest of the time. Not good for his back. One of many reasons that, when I can drive again, I'm looking for a new church for myself. Still have to have that conversation with DH....

Anyway, I worked on lists and lists and lists. And read lots of blogs by Ruth Soukup. Because as much as I wanted to fall asleep, I can't fall asleep sitting up. Never have been able to unless heavily medicated. Not even in Basic Training, when all the other trainees were learning how to sleep sitting at attention, I just could not. I am not able to fall asleep, even that sleep deprived, unless I'm laying down. Anyway, I'm doing a bunch of last minute prep work and will work some more tomorrow morning on my goal planner (headache getting too bad to think very well at the moment). Lots to do this week!!! And then the countdown till school starting for the kids begins! I've already told the kids I'm going to slowly start getting them up earlier starting in mid-July. I don't want them to go from sleeping till 8 to suddenly being woken up almost 3 hours earlier than they are used to!!

I'm also going to go ahead and slowly start getting myself up earlier. I need to decide if I'm going to wake up just a few minutes before I get the kids up, or if I'm going to go back to getting up an hour before them. Do I wait and work out after they leave, or try to work out super early in the morning? How long will my workouts last? I want to take time to build up on everything, but I wonder how long, in total, it will eventually be. If more than an hour in total, it will need to be after the kids leave. Do I get up and get my coffee and computer work out of the way before I get the kids up, like I did last year, or will that put me into a lazy mode for the day, starting out with that much time on the computer (and on my rear)? So many things to think about on how to make my day as productive as possible!

And (gasp!) I'm thinking about weaning off of coffee and changing to green tea first thing in the morning. Yes, me, the coffee-aholic. I've been drinking more than my normal of late, and it has got me thinking. I worked my way down to drinking only one cup first thing in the morning, but I do drink a latte at least once a week, and that is not good as I am lactose intolerant and trying to go Paleo. I can't do coffee without sugar and creamer. But I could do green tea with honey, or even by itself. I managed years and years ago to change from sweet tea to unsweet tea with lemon. So it is not inconceivable that I could quit coffee altogether. Maybe drink it at special occasions only or something. I'm going to be trying out different teas too, just bought a sampler of loose leaf teas and if I don't try some of them soon, YDD will have them gone before I get a chance!! I'm most interested in the turmeric tea, as turmeric is supposed to be very good for you, but I want to see how it tastes, so I bought the sampler pack that had turmeric in it (had to tell YDD it was off limits till I tried it first!).

I know it seems like right now I am doing a lot and planning a lot, but in the long run all of this planning and working is going to simplify my life. I want to build habits that help me to do things on auto-pilot instead of on willpower. I want things in the house to flow better. I know part of my feeling like it does not is that the house is messy, and part of that is because it is Summer, so we are in the house more and mess it up more, part of it is because the dogs somehow forgot they were potty trained and have been making messes, part of it is that for some reason DH barely ever helps with house work any more, and also because my chronic illnesses have been acting up so much that I have not been able to get much done myself. We are working on the chronic illnesses, trying to get me feeling good enough to be more present, to be able to work out, and to do 'life' more. The kids are old enough that they are doing some of their own chores. They seem rather put out at the fact that they have to do their own chores and clean their own rooms, lol.

Well, my migraine is getting the best of me, so if I'm to get anything else done today, I'd best get it done now. Hope you have had a wonderful weekend, and last day of June!!

~Flea
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