100,000-149,999 SparkPoints 123,441

I lied...

Tuesday, June 25, 2019

...on my Nutrition tracker yesterday. I have to find some other way of relieving my stress than eating. I actually snuck a slice of whole grain bread after dinner and was still within my calories and debating with myself if I really liked my clothes getting tighter and gaining more weight --I actually think I look better but my clothes fitting me are another story, I really don't want my weight to go up any more than it has. I had lost so much weight here and now I've gained slightly more than half of it back.
I had decided that not over eating was what I was going to do, despite some financial stress that is eating away at my peace of mind when something happened that really pushed my buttons. It's after dinner, 8 pm at night, and I am sitting peacefully on my couch watching TV (which is unusual for me, I usually go into my bedroom and relax by watching programs on my Notebook.). Suddenly a strange gray car full of people pulls into my parking lot and then I also notice some garbage dumped in our parking lot, on the other side. My apartment building is very small, there are only four units and no one got out of this car to visit anybody. I was about to ignore it and then I felt uncomfortable when two young men, at slightly different intervals, got out of the car and headed up the street in opposite directions.
This made me nervous. Then another gray car pulled up next to this one!
Suffice it to say, I felt very nervous. Where I am from, if you are lost you don't pull into a parking lot or driveway to converse on the phone, you pull over to the side of the road and use your phone to find out where you are going. It's not just "impolite'; it's trespassing. All these young people were in their 20s, I am a woman living alone in an iffy neighborhood--to make a long story short, I called the police and asked them to investigate. Californians make me so nervous, they are so different--I often feel like I've moved to another planet. It may be generational, it may be because of my hearing loss, I just am not used to many people behaving the way they do now.
So I did close my blinds, the police did not show up while these people were here (at least 20 minutes) and i did retire to my bedroom.
And I got more bread AND butter and stayed up until after midnight because I was stressed. I have to get a better grip when I am that stressed. I have to NOT eat just because I am...well afraid or over re-acting. I don't know, I don't think I over reacted. Got to move away from this behavior though, it's sabotaging my efforts to lose weight.
Share This Post With Others
Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I would have been frightened, too. It's awful that the police took 20 minutes to answer your call and the guys were gone already.

    Hugs and hope you are able to calm down. Don't beat yourself up over this.
    25 days ago
    Ugh emoticon . I would be a mess too.
    25 days ago
    I wish you didn't have to feel unsafe in your own home. That's the real tragedy, Allison. Our homes should be our sanctuary, the one place where we do feel safe. I know that your finances prevent you from moving, but I wish that there was a magic answer to your situation. Just being in an "iffy" neighborhood can be stressful. Please take care of yourself. Wishing you peace and love.
    26 days ago
    26 days ago
  • -POOKIE-
    Glad you are ok.
    26 days ago
    That does sound like a creepy experience. Calling the police was a good response!
    26 days ago
    I think that would bother me, too, but there has got to be better ways to combat the stress than eating. Wish I knew what they were so I could share.
    26 days ago
    I am sorry you were so frightened. emoticon

    You did a good thing calling the police.

    It isn't necessarily easy to calm ourselves when that primitive survival part of our brain has been kicked into high gear. I need work in that regard myself. Saw a doctor yesterday for another viewpoint on my current health situation. I'll ne embarking on some work in that specific regard: The Dynamic Neural Retraining System, a drug free, neuroplasticity-based healing approach to rewire chronic illness disease patterns in the brain as seen in many chronic illnesses. I am skeptical. But, I am going to give it a go.
    26 days ago
    I live in a gated community but it is really false security. We even have a guard at the gate in the evening till morning. That doesn’t stop people from jumping the fence on the other side of the huge development where there is no security guard. We have a designated locked bike garage but my bike and three others had their bike stolen. I agree that we are living in strange times.
    26 days ago
    That would fo been scary and I'm glad you reported it. Who knows what they were up too, just glad you were safely tucked in your bed. emoticon emoticon
    26 days ago
    We all have setbacks. As long as you notice your mistakes and don't continue the same patterns. Hopefully they weren't up to no good. Hope you ended up getting some rest that night.
    26 days ago
    I wonder what the young people were doing outside there. I would not like that either. Maybe they were going door to door selling something. I don't receive mail at my house and live far back in the woods. You can't see our house from the road. Once a mail vehicle drove all the way back to my house and sat in front of my house for a long time. It creeped me out. I also was sitting on my bed one day and a woman walked by my bedroom window a few feet from my house and looked in. My son was home asleep and I got him up. We went outside together and her car was left running at the end of our driveway. She said she was an insurance agent. Who does this??? We ended up getting a driveway alarm and security system.

    I hope this doesn't happen to you again. Hugs.
    26 days ago
  • Add Your Comment to the Blog Post

    Log in to post a comment

    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.