500-999 SparkPoints 639

Watched some emotional movie..omg

Monday, June 17, 2019

so something that you don't know is I was married to a drug addict 15 years ago and he'll be getting out of prison next year we have a son together. Anyways I watch this movie tonight call Ben is back something like that and I literally felt like I was reliving the life I had all them years ago literally gave me anxiety I cried my eyes out. It was on Hulu somebody had suggested it in this mom's group I'm in on Facebook. I'm not sure yet if it was a healing experience or just slightly traumatizing. Well as far as what's been going on on my eating it's been good the highest I've been on my calories was like 1440 something that was today. Still I don't feel like I'm a failure by any means I actually weighed myself this morning even though tomorrow is technically the day I'm supposed to Monday which is actually Monday right now but it's 2 in the morning so it doesn't really count I usually wait till I wake up anyways I was 304.2 lb this morning so sticking to my calories is really the way that I can't be teetering off too much but I also don't want to feel too restricted which honestly I don't. So Tuesday I'm leaving out of town and I am having a little concerned about how I'm going to handle the eating part because my sister is coming with me and she is a big foodie like I am and she keeps telling me Oh don't worry about it just think you're not on a diet for two days and I don't want to think about it like that I just want to function like a normal person that sounds so stupid right ? Cuz if you think about it normal people that don't have eating problems Flash Food issues just go on vacation and do their thing and it's not even a stress like they're not even worried about it but people like me and probably most of you reading this do get stressed out at the thought of deterring from what you're supposed to be doing. I think it wouldn't be so bad if I was further along and my journey but since it's only like the second week it's a little bit overwhelming but I got to do what I got to do I've got to learn how to function in the normal world I guess can't live in my bubble of home all the time I mean crap I do run a business so there's that. I'm going to take my diary with me and of course duh my phone so I will keep you guys in the know. It honestly helps me so much to do these blogs even if no one reads them it's just a nice Outlet without having to talk to my husband about it or other people that don't really understand and I don't feel judged here we all know people can be so judgy. Anyways have a great night keep your chin up and I will too. Adding a pic I stole from IG lol me and my love of earth and the universe ✌
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    We are reading your blogs. I suggest you read some others. You will see a trend. It’s not a diet. It is a series of changes and small goals. Plenty of good examples here.
    29 days ago
  • RAMONA1954
    Sorry that movie wasn't what you needed. Have fun on your trip. Try to relax a little and enjoy every experience. If I find I eat more I up my activity even if its just marching in place.
    33 days ago
    Sorry about the movie. I am very emotional and have to be careful what I watch. Enjoy your trip and try not to stress. emoticon
    33 days ago
  • LOF7203
    Thanks for sharing
    34 days ago
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