Started back on this journey this past Saturday (June 8 2019) - had a rough few (okay, more than a few) months there, but I'm back now... However, I just CANNOT find the motivation to actually "workout". I stay pretty active most of the day (even though I don't log everything in to my Sparkpeople fitness tracker (otherwise, I feel like I'm sitting at the computer ALL DAY). Anyhow... I just don't feel like it's enough. I tell myself every day that I'm gonna hop on the treadmill (and walk.... not just hop on it and back off). But... I put it off. I don't even make excuses. I literally have NO reason, other than I don't want to.
When I have a spare moment, I just want to sit and focus on my rescue and ways to help bring money in. It's pretty stressful wondering if I'm going to have enough donations come in to feed these animals. If I had enough time in the day, I'd get a job, just to support the animals here on the farm - but I just cannot figure out how to make that work (just yet).
Then at the end of the day, I find myself completely exhausted (mostly mentally) and all I want to do is EAT. And usually not healthy snacks either. Last night I completely BLEW IT! I didn't even log it into my tracker because I KNOW it's WAAAAAAY over, and I couldn't tell you the exact portions anyhow. But... I blew it and I knew I was blowing it! I decided to make the conscious decision to "just do it and get it out of my system"! So, I did.
The eating thing isn't so bad for me though (at least I don't think). I mean, I seem to have a pretty easy time of eating right and fairly enjoy it. It's the lack of an actual work out that is getting to me. I don't like to work out in front of people, so once the Hubby is home, I (for one, don't have time... he's like a small child that has to be looked after and tended to - LOL, kidding - sort of), and two, the treadmill is in the living/dining area (the only place it fits), so I can't walk while he's home. I THOUGHT about doing a little cardio work out in my bedroom last night.... but once I saw that bed... it was over! So... I've had a few BAD Work Outs (because the only bad workout is the one that didn't happen). I feel like I NEED someone to keep me accountable - someone to say "Hey, did you work out" or "What kind of work out did you do today?" and then to go "Why not?" I don't know... I feel like it'll come together... and I'll find the motivation I'm needing soon.
In the meantime, Y'all have a GREAT Friday & enjoy your weekend - I gotta go feed horses, goats, donkeys, chickens, ducks, pigs, rabbits, dogs and the cats!