CROUCHINGFLEA
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More Midnight Ramblings/Insomnia Sucks

Wednesday, June 12, 2019



This was the pic that was at the end of my Spark Coach session today. It spoke to me, because I love being outdoors, and I don't get much chance nowadays. I seem to always be indoors, and I don't like that. I want to spend more time outdoors. One of the things I wanted was a garden, but the house we ended up buying has a tiny backyard that has no place for a garden, it is slanted as well. Plus, it takes money to get box gardens started, and we don't have that to spare. I tend to kill plants in pots, I don't know why, I have always had a green thumb in the garden, but potted plants beware!! Two Christmas's ago my husband got me an Aerogarden, because i really wanted to garden but the place we were renting was the similar, the soil was mostly clay and slanted, not suited to a garden. So, despite my husband not wanting me to get out my aerogarden for some reason, when we get back from vacation, I think I'm going to get it out and start either some herbs or some cherry tomatoes. I did well with it, for the most part last time I had it going, I just didn't trim the herbs enough. We tried to plant them, but the little tubes they come in are not meant to be transplanted. Oh well, I'll do better this next go round!!

As far as what I want to be, I still don't know. I've got my baby steps in my head, ready to start. But I'm stalling for some reason. I need to read more on my book, Do It Scared, and work on my workbook that I printed off. I have realized that I am afraid to move forward, but it has been worse since I had that discussion with my husband and he took me wanting to explore things so badly. Again, he was/is recovering from that minor surgery, so perhaps he was just at the end of his patience that day and that is why he responded the way he did. I don't know. But it is still hurtful and frustrating.

My injections for my migraines completely wore off. I've had a migraine every day. It is so frustrating because I lose my concentration, and I can't do much. I get al kinds of crazy symptoms with them and pretty much become useless when they get bad. Without me there to help them the kids don't do much either. Two weeks till my next injections and it seems like an eternity away. And, the pharmacy I used closed (thanks Walgreens for closing my Rite Aid) and everything was supposed to be transferred to CVS, well, they had some problems, and my migraine medication did not transfer, and the office is closed for some reason till the 17th!! I don't know how I'm going to get by. I guess I could go see my regular doctor and explain the situation. I can take the RX with me so she can see it and give me a one time refill. That might work.

I've been really emotional because of everything going on and my eating has reflected it. I can't seem to eat enough, I'm constantly hungry, I'm craving sweets like mad... I have to get a handle on this! Food is not the answer, and never has been! I'm thankful I see my therapist today. She is usually very insightful and might have a way for me to not reach for food and instead figure out what the root cause is. I think I know, but what to do is driving me crazy, especially because i can't do much due to the migraines.

My vacuum cleaner bit the dust. I had the kids clean up the downstairs where they had let the dog tear up some wood she had brought inside and some paper she had gotten ahold of... they didn't pick up all of the big pieces and some got stuck. So when the vacuum cleaner stopped picking up stuff instead of stopping to see what was wrong, they just kept vacuuming, and burned out the motor. It was a really nice vacuum cleaner too, one of those investments that lasts most of your life because you buy a nice one and have a local business to take it to. I'm hoping they can fix it instead of us having to buy a new one, because we simply can't right now.

I'm off to try to sleep again. Perhaps Mr. Sandman will bring me a dream. I'm going to try to get up early to work out, I don't usually have a bad migraine first thing in the morning (usually) so, I'm hoping to get at least 10 minutes of both cardio and stretching in. Then I want to work on my book. My oldest daughter is having a faith crisis and is wanting to read the Bible together, so we are going to start doing that in the mornings over breakfast, and continue for however long it holds her interest. We will try to read every morning, and then whenever she feels she need it throughout the day. She is questionsing hard, and it is really shaking her. I told her it is okay to question, it is good to question, don't just blindly believe what I believe, you have to discover these things for yourself. She is growing up. I am proud of her for taking the initiative and wanting to read the Bible with me. She is a smart young lady.

Hope you have a good night

~Flea
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    Like the message 👍 Blessings for a wonderful day 👍 😊🙏
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    Thanks for sharing
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