Day 1650 - Agreement Three
Thursday, June 06, 2019
This is a continuation of yesterday's blog post on The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom by Don Miguel Ruiz.
Today's blog regards Agreement Three: "Don't Make Assumptions"
It can be pretty dangerous to assume you know what is going on in another person's mind when they say something that is confusing or appears to be hurtful. If we assume we know what the other one is thinking, we have the potential to create a false situation.
There are some assumptions that can be safe to adopt when you are on the receiving end of a hurtful comment. "Oh, they must be having a really bad day." That kind of assumption can help avoid negative feelings and adopt a kinder attitude toward the other person. However, even those "safe" assumptions can cause harm if you start spreading rumors about the other person based on that assumption. "They must be having a bad day because they got a poor evaluation from their supervisor." That kind of thinking can stoke the fires of the gossip train. Just don't go there.
Assumptions are also dangerous when you are building relationships. Ruiz writes about two people who plan to get married. If they make assumptions about how the other person views being married, that can create a lot of tensions that cause fighting and misunderstandings. Rather than assuming, it's always best to ask for information and clarification, and to share what you want as well.
There's an old saying: "Don't assume - it just makes an ASS out of U and ME." Let's just say that it's best never to assume anything.
DON'T MAKE ASSUMPTIONS.
Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want.
Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama.
With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.