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just sayin’ … speakin’ up

Tuesday, June 04, 2019



Day 3 … still feeling yucky. Massive headache is still hangin’ on. Yet I am staying the course. I didn’t finish supper last night coz I got … full. My tummy spoke up!!!

Remember I gave my BFF of 30+ years a quilting cutting mat while on my month-long vacation. Well … she didn’t like it.

That’s OK.

Sometimes you just don’t meet a person’s likes and wants. She knew I bought it for her. She researched it before I bought it at the Denver Mart. We had breakfast at the beginning of our month-long vacation so I could give it to her. Then we spent time together again at the end of our Texas holiday.

So, she didn’t like it. That’s really, really OK with me. Really.

But … I’m not happy. Huh???

What’s not OK is … she didn’t speak up for herself.

She didn’t say anything until much, much later … like a month later and only after I point blank asked if she had used it? What did she think about it?

Why didn’t she say anything???

Coz she was afraid of hurting my feelings.

So … she didn’t say … anything. Didn’t bring it up or bring it to me so I could return it here in the Rockies and get my $$$ money back. All coz she didn’t want to hurt my feelings. So … what did she really accomplish???

It does NOT hurt my feelings that she doesn’t like it … it hurts my soul that she didn’t say anything so that we could correct it and get her something she does like.

How many kajillion times have we not spoken up for ourselves???
Not gotten what we needed??? Wanted??? Deserved???
Suffered in silence??? Not said … anything???

I spoke up in a blog recently that I was looking for a group that is … walkin’ the talk; is taking steps towards their goals; making progress even though life can throw … “challenges” at us.

I have a fantastic group of Sparkers that have reached their goals … maintaining while still learning. I have learned tons and tons from them … and they are very, very supportive. Thank you, thank you. Love ya tons.

I need a group that is still on their journey, who is committed to walking down the bumpy road to health, holds each other accountable, friends that are not “mean” but don’t allow friends to drive food “intoxicated”.

BFF now has a quilt cutting mat that she doesn't like taking up room in her craft room coz she didn’t speak up. Hmmm???

I’m speakin’ up for myself.

************************
Change your mind … and the rest WILL follow.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • OVERWORKEDJANET
    " it hurts my soul that she didn’t say anything"
    I'm sorry for her that she has such insecure feelings that she can't stand up for herself. Her life might be full of things she doesn't want but has accepted!

    You can be stronger. Food for thought, eh?
    Circles right back around to the food we put in our mouths. The exercises we push away. Pleasing/caring for others before ourselves. Others first and ourselves second or way down the line.
    There's a decision to be made that we take care about ourselves as much as we care for others.

    Just sayin'...

    133 days ago
  • PHOENIX1949
    emoticon
    133 days ago
  • TAMMYAND
    If you started a team, I'd join!
    134 days ago
  • CHANGEPOWER
    I agree with SERIOUSLIM. Maybe you need to start a team.

    As far as speaking up I can't really comment as I was not there and don't know everything. I am one to thank a person and think of the thought involved. I may have not said that I did not like it.
    134 days ago
  • WATERMELLEN
    As you explain so eloquently, speaking up is really a gift to the other person. Deep friendship requires candour . . . mere acquaintanceship maybe not so much.
    134 days ago
  • GOING-STRONG
    emoticon
    134 days ago
  • KITTYHAWK1949
    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    134 days ago
  • MRPEABODY
    So true. It drives me crazy when people do stuff like that. I want friends who will always tell me the truth.
    134 days ago
  • MEADSBAY
    I am still sad and disappointed in myself because I did not speak up to my friend of 25 years when she did a hurtful inconsiderate thing to me 20 years ago and our friendship slowly evaporated.
    Now the event seems so tiny.
    emoticon
    134 days ago
  • ONEKIDSMOM
    Isn't that the way it is? We're timid because we don't think friends can take honesty? Honest while kind is a tough thing for some of us timid folks to master... but it is an essential skill.

    Nursing hurt feelings because a friend is not a mind reader? Not a good thing, but many people do exactly this. "If they were really my friend they would know." How often have you heard THAT fiction (maybe in your own mind, even). But if we don't speak up, we're not letting the friend KNOW us! How friendly is that?

    Well said. Keep Sparking! emoticon
    134 days ago
  • 36BEATRICE
    Maybe if you started such a team and wrote a blog about it, you would get some travelling companions?
    134 days ago
  • 1CRAZYDOG
    Yes, that's a hard lesson to learn . . . speaking up for ourselves. Thanks for blogging about it. I am sure there are many others of us who have experienced the same situation.

    HUGS
    134 days ago

    Comment edited on: 6/5/2019 11:12:52 AM
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